We Are So Busy Trying To Be Kind To Others We Forget To Be Kind To Ourselves

Ben White / Unsplash

We’re all broken – this we know for sure. There is a brokenness living inside us, and it is something we have to learn to get by with, no matter how rough the journey gets. With this brokenness, we often feel exhausted from the things that pull us down, deep into the pit of emotions that slowly destroy us. But in the midst of trying our hardest to lessen the exhaustion that we feel, we become so busy. We become so busy trying to give the love other people fail to give us. We are so busy trying to be kind to others that we forget to be kind to ourselves first.

Please be kind to yourself. Forgive the ones who hurt you. Forgive the people who left you. Forgive the people who broke your trust and lied to you. Forgive that person you gave your heart to, but failed to fully give his heart back to you. Forgive them for being weak, for their deceit, and for their shortcomings. Forgive them for failing. Be kind to yourself by forgiving the ones who brought your life sadness because this is the only way you’ll live a life of true happiness. Start by forgiving yourself for hurting you. While it is important to forgive those who caused you pain, it is equally important to forgive yourself for doing things that you knew – in the back of your mind – only hurt you. Forgive yourself for holding on for too long. Forgive yourself for loving someone without being loved in return. Forgive yourself for not forgetting. Forgive yourself for not mending your wounds and for foolishly waiting for someone to do it. Forgive yourself just like how you were kind enough to forgive others.

Please be kind to yourself. Let go of the things that make your heart heavy. Your heart is a fragile thing and no one, not even your parents, can protect it but you. So do whatever you feel is necessary in lessening the burden of your heart. Find that instrument that can make your heart beat fast again – whether it is a person, a place or something you need to do. It’s important to pinpoint what makes your heart ache because even doctors need to know the exact illness to prescribe medicines. Confide in your friends or make new ones. Talk to the person you like. Travel to your dream destination. Scream on top of a rooftop. Cry if you need to. And even if it’s frightening and as painful as breaking off an unhealthy relationship, do it. If you think it would give your heart even the tiniest bit of lightness, for once, stop being afraid and just do it.

Please be kind to yourself. Please don’t kill yourself – literally and figuratively. Please don’t ever try or even think about killing yourself. Life is not always beautiful, and I know not having or knowing your destination gives you too much anxiety, but it will get better. It’s never assured to happen today, not even tomorrow, but it will happen because it’s bound to be. Embrace your feelings of anxiety or desperation or sadness or solitude but don’t live in them. Dip your feet in these feelings but don’t swim in them. Don’t be afraid to show the world inside you because the universe inside it is still yours, no matter how dark it may be. It’s okay to be vulnerable and it’s even a beautiful thing – having the courage to show the world that you’re broken inside but you’re still breathing. In time you will have the power to smile. When the emotions finally subside, you will be ready. You will live.

Please be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself every once in a while. Give yourself the love other people fail to give you. Buy the bag you’ve always wanted to receive as a gift. Dine in that fancy dream restaurant of yours. Cut your hair very short; color it if you want. Write a bucket list and do things you write on it soon. Bungee jump. Cliff dive. Travel to Amsterdam and acknowledge the fault in your stars. It’s only when you learn to realize that nothing is always perfect will your soul start to be fed. Start listening to your heart. Party with your friends. Go on a date with your family. Climb that mountain alone. Learn to pamper yourself and be too beautiful that other people begin to notice the glow in you.

Please be kind to yourself. Stop looking for a sanctuary in other people and be your own home. Loving yourself is the simplest way of being kind to yourself. Sometimes it’s okay to be lost, to feel lost, so don’t be afraid to wandering. Instead of seeking safety in the arms of others, learn to find solace in you because only then you will realize that you’re never really alone. Know that where you are is where you belong right now. Tomorrow, when you feel like it, you may start surrounding yourself with people and things that could be a part of your home but always remember that you hold the key to the door of your own happiness. After all, the first person who should make you happy is you. You are your happiness. TC mark

It’s what we ache for that matters.

Keep up with MJ on Instagram and thesentimentalmisfit.tumblr.com

More From Thought Catalog