This Is Me Saying Goodbye To My 20-Something Self

I have been reflecting a lot about everything that has happened in my tweenies. My years of being a 20-something were full of confusion, chaos, pain, heartbreak, and lots of fuck-ups.

As I get ready to say goodbye to my twenties, I can honestly say I have grown a lot as a woman. I have learned many things and despite all the madness that has happened in my life and the things awaiting me in the future, I am ready to embrace my thirties.

This is me saying goodbye to my 20-something self.

This is me saying goodbye to that girl who was desperately looking for love in all the wrong places and in all the wrong people. I am saying goodbye to that girl that instead of taking care of herself, she gave everything to those that took her for granted. She sacrificed herself thinking that if she loved them hard enough, in return, they would love her too. But now, she knows that love comes from within and she must first love herself.

This is me saying goodbye to that girl who wanted to fit in. She shrunk herself to fit into other’s lives. She didn’t realize that by doing that she wasn’t being true to herself. But now, she doesn’t care about being accepted, but only about being respected. She has learned that she wasn’t meant to fit in, she was born to break the mold and to stand out. She has learned that as long as she stays true to herself, she will never have to beg nor chase anyone to be a part of her life because those that matter will accept her no matter what.

This is me saying goodbye to that insecure girl who hated her body. I am saying goodbye to the girl who had a hate relationship with the girl who stared back at her in the mirror. But now, she proudly embraces every imperfection and every scar that is painted on her body.

This is me saying goodbye to the girl who was never happy with herself. But now, she can look at herself and see someone beautiful, funny, kind, and genuine. She grew up. She changed. She found herself. She is proud of who she is because she can finally look at the mirror and smile back at her own reflection.

This is me saying goodbye to my insecurities, past mistakes, past hurts, fears, bad habits and anything that no longer serves me. I am thankful for the experiences and people that came into my life. But I am ready to experience new adventures and welcome new faces in my life.

This is me saying goodbye to the fear of aging. I used to be so scared of getting older and it felt like a burden. Now, I realize that growing older is a gift that not everyone receives. Life isn’t about how many years it’s been since you left your mother’s womb; life is about making the best of it while you’re still here. Living is about making unforgettable moments, loving, learning, growing and evolving. I am happy to have lived this far and hope I get to live many more years.

This year, I am happy to have witnessed a major transformation in myself. And the only thing I want for myself is to celebrate another year and feel grateful for everything and to look at the future as an excellent opportunity to learn, love and grow more.

This is me saying goodbye to my old self so I can confidently walk into my thirties.

A writer writing love, life and her cancer journey.💚

Keep up with Mitzi J on Instagram and Twitter