I have this overwhelming pain in my chest, it’s hard to breathe, my head is spinning. How I wish you could have been my “forever” but I tried my best, I tried so hard, I gave you my all, and now there’s nothing left.
I love you, but I am done fighting for you, I am done trying.
You stole my heart, then tore it in two.
Now I’m falling apart and don’t know what to do.
You told me you loved me,
Do you know the depth of the word?
Or did you use it as words to get something from me? What do you know about “LOVE”? What do you know about loving someone?
I wish I could say that my love faded away, but my love is still as strong for you as it was the first day. I still love you with all these broken pieces you made. I wish I could say that we parted ways, but I don’t think we ever connected them in the first place. Now that I look back, I wonder whether there was a time you ever really loved me.
My heart refused to accept the truth that you don’t love us. My heart wanted to believe that you were the one because to me you were.
It’s just that I’m not the one for you. It’s hard to let go of someone you found yourself in. I won’t say I was a fool for loving you, but I’ve been a fool for your love for too long. I fought so hard to keep us safe. I fought till I lost my breath just, so we could make it work.
You were the one that made my heart race, so I forgot about the days when you broke it. You were the one that made me feel so good that I forgot about the days when you made me feel worthless.
And I was always the one that cared more. The one that fought harder, the one that sacrificed more for us. I spent so much time trying to walk in your shoes, trying to understand you. I spent months wondering what I could do to make us work.
I was the one that held you in one piece while life tore you down. That I was the one who made sure you have a light in your darkest of days. I was the one that took away all of your pain, but not once did you wonder where it went. Not once did you realize that I ached for you and because of you. Not once did you look back on us.
It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.
I can’t keep fighting the same fight. I’m losing sleep. My heart is sick. Love is not supposed to hurt this bad. I cannot make you love me. I cannot make you feel the same love I feel for you. I cannot force something if it just isn’t there. I have no fight left in me. I am exhausted.
But today, I chose to fight for me.
It took so long to realize that I’m my own blessing after you were my curse. And it took me too long to see you for who you are, to see us the way we were. To see that I was the only one loving and fighting. To see that I was stuck in a one-sided relationship, thinking it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I hope one day you find someone who completes you. Because I completed you for a while.
Someone who makes you happy. Because I made you happy for a while.
But I’m done fighting for someone who never fought for me. For someone who will never fight for anyone but himself.
I love you, but I’m done fighting for you.
Today I set myself free, I lost myself in the process of loving you, and in the process, I broke my own heart. But now I know I deserve to find someone that will fight for me too.