10 Things That Happen When You’re Finally Healing From Being Cheated On

wind hair sunlight hat
Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho

At some point in our lives, we all have experienced heartbreak and there is no pain quite as devastatingly horrendous if the heartbreak was as the result of being cheated on.

It is the ultimate betrayal.

The worst thing about getting cheated on is that the pain doesn’t end when the relationship does. Once you’ve found out you were betrayed and find yourself alone in bed for the first time in a while, you’ve got to face a whole new, seemingly insurmountable challenge: getting over being cheated on. It’s not easy

It can make you wonder if you’re enough. It can make you wonder what you did to cause this.

With time, you heal. You survive.

With time you realize that being cheated on was absolutely horrible, however, being cheated on was actually the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

1. You become smarter

You gave your love to someone who discarded it once before; you’re not going to easily give it away again. You may find it very difficult to find someone again because of how highly cautious you have become. Being cheated on made you smarter, it made you better, and it made you open your eyes and realize what you want out of a relationship and what you don’t want out of a relationship. You won’t be easily fooled again. When you’ve been cheated on, you will tolerate very little BS from a future partner.

2. Your focus totally shifts

After I was cheated on I was able to put all my attention inward, I started prioritizing healthy habits, like going to the gym, eating healthy, pampering myself and working on rebuilding my life—simply because I was using my energy to start fixing myself instead of devoting my efforts to the relationship.

3. You learn love isn’t forever

You realize that just because you and your ex had a lot of love going on between you two, and just because you might have thought they were the one – that does not mean they were the one for all of eternity. Sure, you might have loved them a lot, but it was a moment in time. After being cheated on you to go into every new relationship understanding this may not work out. This should never deter you from seeking love. Love is a beautiful thing, but it is not impenetrable.

4. You become stronger

After being cheated on and left alone to cry for days and weeks/months, you ultimately realize one thing, you are stronger than you ever thought you’d be. Although, being cheated on is a dreadful experience and we went through agonizing heartaches, but at the end, we learn that we are survivors. Betrayal will only make you that much stronger. You will learn just what you are capable of. We are a collection of the trials of our past. They make us who we are. If you can come out the other end of a serious trauma and continue on with your life, you are the one has won the war.

5. You realize not everyone you lose, is a loss

The truth is not everyone you lose in life is a loss. We realize that losing someone can be a blessing or a lesson. What if staying with your ex meant worse things for you? In that case, you will realize that it is a lesson learned to lose a person like that. A lesson which will teach you a whole lot more about love, relationships and life in general. not every person you lose is a loss

6. You learn how important trust is

We learn that trust is the most important ingredient for a healthy and successful relationship. Without trust, no relationship can survive. Once you’ve been cheated on, your trust becomes very hard to earn. You know it is something easily broken, and only a handful of people are deserving of it. You second-guess people because you don’t want to get burned.

7. You realize love needs a lot of work

Love is very powerful, but it takes more than just love to make a relationship successful. We learn the fact that you cannot make strong foundations of a relationship on just love. Dedication, commitment, honesty, compromises and a whole lot of conscious efforts are required, to make a relationship last forever.

8. You forget and forgive

We learn to forgive those who cheated on us and we try to forget that part of our lives. After the bitter experience of betrayal, we learn that holding on to that hatred and anger will only destroy us further. In order to move on, we have to let go of all the feelings of hatred, anger, and resentment attached to that person. We have to make peace with our past for a better future life. There is no point in living in the agony of your past. Quite sometime after our breakup, we finally realize that we have to move on to embrace peace and happiness.

9. You learn the importance of self-love

The first person you need to love in your life is yourself. Once you’ve experienced the pain someone can inflict on you and the loss that comes with wrapping your love in someone else before your own, you understand the necessity of loving yourself before anyone else. There’s no way you can get over the pain of losing someone you love—or thought you loved—unless you have yourself to go back to.

We need our own love more than anyone else’s, at the end of the day, the most important relationship we should have is the one we have with ourselves.

10. You evolve into a better person

After you’ve been cheated on, you find yourself and grow in ways that you didn’t even know were possible. The darkness does not change its beauty nor it’s worth. Just because that person didn’t appreciate or respect you, doesn’t make you any less of a masterpiece. You’ll realize how much you were missing while you were being blindly and blatantly neglected. And you’ll then find yourself taking chances to see and appreciate all of what you were missing because you now have so much to see and do.

Being cheated on opens an entirely new world to you, and it may seem dark and chaotic at first, but don’t worry. Soon you’ll see light in life that’s brighter than the sun. We learn from it, and we evolve as a totally new person. TC mark

Mitzi J Hernandez

I express my thoughts and emotions through words.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

More From Thought Catalog

‘Tis the season…

to be inspired! 🎄 Shop books and more for you and your loved ones this season at ShopCatalog.com.

👉Books that make you feel whole again
👉Poetry to sooth your soul
👉All beautifully crafted
👉Plus new apparel

Shop Now!

Image Credit: Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho