11 Hilariously Accurate Reasons Smartphones Actually Own Us Now

Melody Bates
Melody Bates

Smartphones are great! You can take photos instantly and capture life’s great moments on the spot. You can indulge in social media, listen to music, and watch videos or even write emails whilst on the go. In addition, you can even shop online, set reminders and alarms, and use it as a planner and as a GPS.

Although these devices add heaps of entertainment into your life, it is upsetting to see how everyone is so consumed by it, as you can see in the points below. Moderation, people.

1. Needing a charger like you need air

Whenever I meet my friends, the conversation starts like this: “Do you have a portable charger? Please, tell me you have an iPhone charger.” Judging by the urgency in their tone, it would seem as though me not having a charger would cause them to hyperventilate and faint. Yes, I have a charger. But it’s a Samsung. Buuuurrrrn.

2. Autocorrect makes you dumber

I dont thinj I wvwn news to worry wbiut my apwlling wntlore

I don’t think I even need to worry about my spelling anymore.

3. You always depend on it

Okay, so we are meeting 2 weeks later? Let me put that down on my calendar.

Oh wait, I have to put a reminder to trim my brows tonight at 10:00pm, and to bring extra clothes for my yoga class tomorrow at 3:00pm.

You carry it wherever you go. The classroom, the bathroom, the bedroom, the outdoors — like as if it were some magical self-defense tool capable of preventing you from interacting with people. Yay to introverts.

Nowadays, it is perfectly alright to leave your home without your wallet, but not without your smartphone. It is perfectly okay to borrow cash from your friends, but what am I supposed to do on the 30-minutes bus ride alone to town? You feel empty without it, and actually cry when you drop it onto the ground or into the toilet bowl.

4. You can’t sit through a meal without reaching out for your phone

Facebook notification. Instagram notification. Twitter notification. WhatsApp notification. Tinder notification. OHHHH wait I have to Snapchat this moist chocolate cake layered with chocolate mousse, and then maybe Instagram it while I am at it. What ever happened to just relishing the meal before you and the presence of your companion.

5. Feeling handicapped without it

*stares into blank space*

How many more hours are they going to take to repair my phone!??

*props elbows onto repair-man’s work desk*

Do you have a spare phone for me to use while I wait here? I need to check on my crops in Farmville before they wither.

We should not feel handicapped without our phones, we should be relieved. In this culture which prioritizes the virtual world more than anything else, be relieved that we can cherish special moments happening each day, relieved we can be present to the moment.

6. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS) is a nerve-related condition that causes pain and numbness in the wrists and hands. Enough said.

7. It puts a barrier between people

Going on and on about your bad day at work, waiting for a response, only to find your friend glued on to his iPhone…with his earphones. Apparently his Korean drama is more interesting than your work drama!

8. Capturing every moment becomes unhealthy

Capturing everything, from selfies. #foodporn. #wanderlust on every social media platform. Snapchatting and instagramming everything from your #ootd to your #fitspo workout, to the extent of risking your life. Just because you can. #yolo

9. They totally cause car accidents

Keep your eyes on the road, seriously. That text message or call can’t be that urgent and important.

10. Trapped in constant distraction and habit

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Reach for your phone.
What is the last thing you do before you sleep? Because of this, you go to bed even later than before, scrolling and liking your entire feed of social media, and then inevitably regretting the next morning. #mondayblues

11. You will never be happy with the one you have

Apple will always one-up you- causing you to continuously upgrade your iOS system, until you have to buy the latest model to match the latest iOS. TC mark

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