1. There are days where you talk more to your dog than to people. And by “days” I mean every day.
2. You choose your outfit according to your dog’s fur: What clothes will match the dog hair best?
3. You develop sympathy pain. Your dog injured her right knee and is limping – now your right knee is starting to hurt.
4. You refer to your dog as your child.
5. You refer to yourself in the third person when talking to your dog: “Mommy loves you, yes she does, yeees she does!”
6. You decline invitations to go out, saying you already have plans. Your plans are to go home and hang out with your dog.
7. Your dog sleeps in your bed. Your husband doesn’t.
8. You smell her paws. (Dog paws smell delicious.) Because that’s normal, right?
9. You feel guilty every time you have to leave the house without your dog.
10. You miss your dog when you have to leave her behind. Even if it is just for a few hours.
11. You dream of being able to work from home, so you basically never have to leave the house.
12. You’d rather drive for a day than fly for a couple of hours, so you can take your dog with you.
13. You’d kinda like to travel more, but can’t bear the thought of leaving your dog with friends. Or *shudder*, a dog kennel. Road trips it is.
14. You cover your dog’s eyes when Sarah McLachlan’s dog commercials come on, right after muting the sound and shutting your own eyes tightly. Those commercials are awful.
15. You have long, serious conversations with your dog. Because she clearly understands.
16. You won’t move into a more comfortable position when your dog fell asleep on your lap. Even if your legs are starting to cramp.
17. You haven’t worn white in years. Or any other light colours that show dirt easily.
18. Your clothes are mostly “practical”. (Don’t get me started on the shoes. Let’s not go there.)
19. Your birthday presents are dog-themed. How do people know…?
20. Your dog is your screensaver.
21. Your closest friend is your dog.