1. My shitty ex who I still hook up with.
He was my first real relationship in my 20s and it ended without too much drama, which makes hooking up and hanging out real options. The problem with this is I know I am choosing comfort over potential greatness. It is so much easier to text an ex “come over :P” than to actually look like a functional human being to meet someone new to talk about our mediocre lives over drinks.
2. My parents.
Obviously I will forever need my parents to some degree and they are the closest people in my life, but it’s time to stop making bad decisions because I know they will always be there for me. Pay for rent or buy a new Macbook? A serious question I asked myself a few months ago. I bought the new computer because I knew my parents would never let me be homeless. This is an awful habit and at a quarter of a century I need to cut it.
3. My social media followers.
To some extent I post selfies or life updates for myself. I enjoy documenting important times in my life or posting something that makes me feel good about myself. What becomes problematic is when I am constantly refreshing to see comments or likes. If a picture of mine doesn’t clear 11 likes on Instagram it would make me think it wasn’t a very flattering photo. I am too old to being putting my worth, value, and happiness on people I never met before. Especially when a lot of them are creepy dudes who only followed me because I linked my Tinder profile to my Instagram (TIP: this actually works!).
4. Tinder boys.
Or Jswipe boys. Or Bumble boys. Or OKCupid boys. Or Coffee Meets Bagel boys. Okay, yeah I have been on the online dating block for a hot minute now and have given many apps a shot. Can’t blame a girl for trying to find love in our non-committing generation, but you can blame a girl for giving fuckboys a lot more power than they deserve. Anytime I need a pick me up, I just swipe and see how many boys finding me physically attractive based off of 5 photos I selectively picked because I look cute and a one-line sassy bio.
5. Old friendships.
Maybe I am actually an awful person or have just had the worst luck when it comes to friendship. The majority of the people I considered my closest friends a few years ago are now barely even acquaintances. Some of them ended badly, like deleted me off Facebook and blocked me from Instagram badly, a few ended mutually, and others just faded out. One thing I need to start doing is moving on from these people in my life. I technically have since we don’t talk daily like we used to and we no longer plan visits and hang outs. But a part of me still holds on to these people for nostalgic reasons. Similar to my shitty ex, these people are comfortable and I’d like to think that if either of us are in a moment of crisis we would both pull through.