1. “Let’s Do Shots” Guy
This guy wants nothing more than to not feel his face tonight. He’s sloppy, he wants to fight somebody, and he keeps calling everyone “bro”. He’ll probably try to bring you back to “sleepover” in his mom’s basement.
2. Diet Girl
This girl only wants to talk about her new diet plan and how “gluten is the enemy”. “If you eat gluten I don’t hate you…I just don’t understand you”, she’ll say. Warning: she may not know what gluten is.
3. “My Eyes Are Up Here” Guy
This guy has a wandering eye that leads right to your lovely lady lumps. He’s not even pretending to listen to you. CREEPY.
4. Overly Affectionate Couple
This couple is snuggling in the corner and booping each other’s noses while rambling on about how they’re soul mates. Extra points if they’re wearing matching outfits.
5. Existential Crisis Girl
This girl has had 2 beers and suddenly all she wants to talk about is how “we’re all little dots on this blue marble”. Move over Plato and Socrates because this woman is a philosopher! “Gravity, I mean…what’s that all about? I mean…I took a science class. I know what it is, but, like…what’s that all about?”
6. Passed Out Guy
This guy is down for the count and was probably hanging out with “Let’s Do Shots” Guy earlier. He may wake up to belch every couple of hours.
7. Selfie Girl
This girl has been taking selfies with her red cup the ENTIRE party and she’s all about the duck face. There is no shame in her game. #NoMakeup. #OHHELLNO
8. Incoherent Girl
This girl has drank way too much and sounds like she’s speaking in tongues. Nobody has any idea what she’s saying, but she KEEPS ON TALKING.
9. “Who Invited Him?”
This guy is extra shady and keeps darting his eyes around while standing in the corner. Is he a nark? Who does he know? HE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!