[Insert Obscure Indie Lyric Here]

So I’ve noticed recently that my friends and I have developed a penchant for Indie Girls. I’m not sure if this is a long-standing trend, or if I’ve just joined the ranks, but I feel like this is a theme resonating with all of my friend groups. I have conquered Scene Girls, Alt Girls, and numerous DIY Hipsters (all of which occurred in a period of time too short to be considered tasteful), but I had a lot of catching up to do! 

What exactly is it about these women that we find so desirable? Is it the liberation, freedom, and complete acceptance we feel while being around them? Is it the feeling that prancing around NY with them makes us seem unique and everything new, through some sort of physical osmosis? Or maybe the feeling that you’re Enid and Rebecca in a Terry Zwigoff movie when you walk around together holding hands.

Whatever it is, I’m most impressed by their ability to rock an ensemble only my grandmother would wear. It continues to astound me. Whenever I walk by the Milly and Earl on Graham Ave, I see the epic line of people visiting from the neighborhood, finishing off a cig, and waiting impassionedly to get in. Sometimes, I’ll stop a particularly attractive woman to ask what she’s waiting for, just to hear her throw in as many obscure references as she can into a single verbal interaction. I melt a little inside each time.

However, ladies and gentlemen, there are a few cons associated with this sensation. For instance, I am far more mainstream than my lovers can handle. Sometimes I speak too candidly, or make a pop culture reference that pretend to not know, but it infuriates me. If I do not receive the acknowledgment I deserve, I’ll text a friend saying, “FYI, I was really mainstream just now,” and proceed to explain the situation.

Most of the times, I have no idea what they’re talking about. For example, my brother dated a woman from Billysburg for a period, and it took him two months to admit that he never heard of her favorite band, The Antlers. And when he finally figured it out, by which I mean I did, we realized that the band had gone mainstream, and it wasn’t cool anymore. C’est la vie.

Obviously, neither of these cons are deal breakers, but it’s something to keep in mind and plan around. If you meet a particularly dreamy woman who doesn’t have a single thing in common with you, tell her how great her bangs look and how the two of you are kindred souls! They love being the center of attention, anyways. 

And about their adoration of the obscure, start bringing home a 45” every time you sleep over. Slowly but surely, you can deplete their collection, and soon you’ll seem cool and hip, too!
Until then, pretend you’re in “A Shape In A Drape” or “Solid Give Me My Kicks,” and strut your woman like the status symbol she is.