Since I was young I’ve always dreamed of love stories. I’ve always loved the idea of having a special guy next to you. A guy that cherishes you, loves you, supports you, and wants to show you off. I’ve always wanted that.
While I was growing up, I started to realize that not everything is a fairy tale and that sometimes, you have to learn the lesson after the mistake you did. Sometimes you have to grow up, be strong and move on.
My story started when I first laid my eyes on him.
He was tall, he had a beard that screamed testosterone and a personality that could light up even the darkest room. There was nothing bad about him, besides his age.
I was way younger than him, so I thought someone his age would never consider me as someone to date. I guess I was wrong because the attraction we had for each other was bigger than the generation gap we had.
Months after innocent flirting, we finally had our first kiss.
We started to see each other more, and one day he said that he doesn’t do commitment, but me, a 22-year-old that most of the time feels confident about herself, got the wrong message and thought that this was something that she was able to change.
Surprise! This was something I couldn’t change.
My mistake was that I thought that I could change his mind and that I was going to play this game by my own rules. I thought this story was going to have a happy ending like in the movies, where the girl with a quirky personality gets the guy that first said he didn’t want to commit.
It didn’t end like that. It just gave me confusion, insecurity, anxiety and a best friend that was sick of listening to the same drama again and again.
I wish I could go back in time and never had the naive idea that I was going to change him, but I realized that with the mistake, comes a lesson, and this lesson is one that you, the beautiful human that is reading this, deserves to know.
You have to know that when he says that he doesn’t want to commit, he means it. It doesn’t mean that he is unsure or that he is going to fall for you eventually. It might happen, but let’s be real, the chances are lower than a worm’s IQ.
You could be the sweetest woman on earth. You could be the kinkiest girl, you could pay attention to the most thoughtful details and you could be the most pleasant human being, but if he doesn’t see himself with you, you are just wasting your time and your energy and hurting your heart.
I know how it feels. I know how hard it is to move on.
It requires strength, especially if you genuinely liked him, but baby girl, you have to put yourself first. If he doesn’t give you what you want, why do you have to stay?
You don’t deserve to be one of his girls. You deserve to be the only girl, the one he can’t stop thinking about.
You deserve to be asked out on dates. You deserve to be able to speak your mind without the fear of losing him. You deserve someone that is sure that he wants you in his life and he is going to do everything that it takes to keep you there.
You don’t deserve halves, because you are not a half. You deserve a human being that is involved in the relationship as much as you are. You deserve the world.
Now that you and I both know this, it’s time to start believing it, and start expecting it, because there’s nothing wrong with having expectations.
Once again, you deserve the world.