Lately, I’ve experienced frustration in ways I never thought I could. Also, I’ve experienced sadness, fear, anger and the desire to give up.
I remember it all started in January when I realized that working as a freelancer is not easy. I didn’t earn money that month and after a lot of tears and days feeling bad about myself, I decided to look for a steady job.
Suddenly, the opportunity appeared. It looked like the job of my dreams and I felt like I was the right candidate. I had all of the requirements and a huge passion for fashion, something they were looking for. The next step was the psychometric test, I did it and after that, I never heard back from them.
During this time I’ve dealt with anger and frustration in ways I never thought I could.
I’ve been mad at myself for being passionate about something that is hard to make a living from it in my country, angry for failing and finally, furious at God for putting the opportunity so close but not giving it to me.
After days of pain, tears, and self-hate, I realized that at the hardest times, God is still there even when we don’t want to see Him and even when we don’t understand why He does what He does.
God doesn’t put struggles in our life just for fun or because He enjoys seeing us crying and breaking down.
He puts them in our life to make us stronger and to make our faith in Him bigger.
We are humans that want everything fast and we want to get it through the easiest way, but if we had everything we want in our timing we wouldn’t be able to realize how fragile and small we are.
If all our desires were fulfilled, we wouldn’t have the chance to recognize that everything good that happens in life is not because of us, but because of someone up there that loves us unconditionally and in unmeasurable ways.
God didn’t promise a life without problems, but He promised that He was going to be next to us, fighting every battle and giving us the strength we need to handle the difficult situations.
He is a loving father.
There is no doubt in that.
As much as I question myself a thousand times a day the reasons why didn’t I got the job, why I failed as a freelancer or why it’s hard for me to find something I genuinely love, I’m learning to trust Him and His ways.
I don’t know the plans He has for me or why I’m going through this dark season, but I know, with complete certainty, that this is going to pass and that sooner than later, I will be giving testimony of how He changed my situation.
It’s not easy, and maybe what you are going through right now is more complicated than just finding the right job, but you have to know that whatever your situation is, He is there for you.
There are a lot of things we could do to change how we feel, but the best one is to bend our knees and pray.
He is ready to listen.
Remember that when everything else fails, God is still there.