I remember 8 years ago, when I used to write in my little journal how much I wanted to get married and have kids before 25 and prayed every morning about it. Also, I remember 2 years ago, when I thought –thanks to the life group I was going to- that my main goal was to get married young with my first official boyfriend.
Years later, I realize how wrong I was.
I am almost 21 years old, on third year of my career and I have a boyfriend. Yes, I am happy, and no, getting married and settling down is not in my plans, or at least for the next 6 years.
I know the pressure and I have known the shame of being single while everyone is dating. I have heard the comments from adult people saying how important it is to find someone to complete you and I have cried many nights wondering if what I am doing is right.
And you know what? It is. It is totally fine to don’t think about settling while you are young. Is perfect the fact that you want to reach your goals and follow your dreams and I find awesome that you want to save money to go to Coachella and to travel by yourself to Europe.
That is what adults and society have to do, to encourage girls to be the best version of them.
We do not need insecure women that doubt how strong, inspiring and beautiful they are, or women that find their identity through a man. We need women that help each other to grow in every single aspect of life.
We do not need limitations or alert signs that if we haven’t settled down by a certain age we will stay single forever, we need signs that tell us “go ahead and reach your dreams”, “the journey is not easy, but it will be totally worth it” or just the simple words “love yourself”. That is what we have to promote and teach to younger girls and to remind to ourselves every single day.
It is 2016, and dating shouldn’t mean that girls are weak or that they need someone to make everything worthwhile, it should mean that is a time to meet a person, in order to learn from them and to learn what they want in a future husband, if they ever want to get married.
And if they don’t want to get married is fine too. Who are we to judge someone because of the way she decides to spend her life? Would you like to be judged for your choices? I don’t think so.
Society needs to stop limiting girls or making them feel guilty because they think different than women from other generations, instead, they should accept the fact that times are changing and if that we are happy with our choices, at the end, is what really matters, to be and to become a happy woman.