What We Do When We Try To Move On

Everyone has a past. Everyone has regrets. Everyone has been hurt, betrayed, deceived, and lied to. Everyone has someone that they wish they could forget and erase from their lives completely. All the memories and emotions attached to this person, we wish they would just go away. To stop being a constant reminder of the pain and torment, of the great lengths you went through to get back up on your feet, to stop from feeling insignificant and destroyed.

However, there is no magic cure. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try or how much you want to, you cannot completely erase this memory. It has happened, and it will always have an impact on your life. But it is your own perception and mind that controls the amount of influence it has. I tend to forget this in crucial moments like today, therefore I’m writing this post to remind myself and you guys that life goes on and the way in which we perceive things makes all the difference.

I know it’s difficult to try and view something which has caused you an extreme amount of pain and grief as anything remotely positive. But in order to move on, it is crucial to let go and detach yourself from the situation. To view the person from a different perspective by not being involved emotionally. Of course, this isn’t easy and can only be done with time.

But how do you do that, you ask? The one thing I’ve always done when trying to move on is to reflect. To view the situation in front of me objectively, and to learn something, anything, whether it’d be about myself or knowing what I want and don’t want in another person, and then using this knowledge to grow and better myself each and every single day.

In times of grief, be the most selfish person you know by loving and spoiling yourself. Do things that make you happy, and be the best version of yourself for yourself. No one knows you better than you know you, and no one can love you more than you love yourself. Rather than holding onto anger and resentment, learn to let go through reflection in order to improve your own life and your own well-being. Surround yourself with people you love, with people who actually care for you. In times of despair, I know you may believe that you have no one, but look around — your family and friends always have and always will be there for you.

View this experience for what it is — an experience. You’ve gone through it, and (un)fortunately, it didn’t work out. Then reflect and learn from the experience which will prevent it from dictating the rest of your journey through life. Remember, don’t ever let your experiences (let alone one person) determine how your life will progress. This is your life, and you have the power to do anything you want with it. No one else deserves to have that kind of power over your life. As cliché as it sounds, believe that everything happened for a reason. You may not see it now, but continue with improving yourself and sending out positive energy and you’ll see that things will eventually fall into place. Remember, this too shall pass.

Don’t take anything personally. If someone treats you badly, it is a reflection of them not you. If they end up hurting you and have no disregards for your feelings, again it is on them and not you. All you can do is to let go and heal, and continue to work on yourself because..

That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark
featured image – DeeAshley

Related

More From Thought Catalog