You’re looking at her as she’s looking at you, and you’re wondering whether you’ve disappointed her, whether this is what she expected when she decided to give you her all.
There is this inherent sadness in her expression as her eyes gaze into yours, yet you, as a boyfriend, trying to pinpoint exactly why, is leading you to an inevitable, never-ending cycle.
You begin to question yourself, is it because I cannot fulfill her needs? Or reach that compromise that we’re supposed to, as a couple? Am I not understanding her?
As a girlfriend, there may be little things that we wish for or desire to be done for us, yet many of us are afraid to communicate our needs in the fear that our boyfriend will believe that we want to change them, that our expectations are too high, or that we simply aren’t aware of our needs ourselves.
As a boyfriend, trying to get inside her head and understand what she truly needs might be driving you crazy, but this is no one’s fault.
It just might be that your girlfriend doesn’t realize exactly what she needs from you – so how are you supposed to?
Relationships are tough. Everyone knows that and in one way or another has experienced why this is so. They require hard work, and this hard work doesn’t stop once we believe we’ve found the person we want to spend forever with – it gets tougher, it needs even more nurturing, even more understanding, and even more dedication, to make it work.
What might make them easier is being aware of each other’s needs, and more importantly, some of our own…
1. She needs a touch.
She needs infinite touches from you – that feel like love pouring from your fingers to trace every spot on her body. She needs you to leave a lingering feeling for hours on end, even when you are no longer in her presence. Whether it’s the light running of your fingers through her curly hair, or your hand that never wants to let go of hers because it has become a habit, a habit you’d never want to change – she needs it.
2. She needs you to see her, really see her.
Not only make time to see her physically, but to always, at least try, see the way she sees the world, the way she sees an argument, or even the way she always wants to look at stars in the black sky, no matter how faded, no matter if they’re barely there.
See her and understand her – the way she truly is in all her rawness and honest beauty. Not see her as someone who has an ocean of emotions, too many pouring out of her,because this is who she is, and you need to respect and appreciate all that she can feel – especially if she is feeling it for you – because finding people like this is a true rarity in the world, and if they are yours, hold onto them.
3. The little things.
Yes, you’ve definitely heard that before. Your girlfriend needs you to listen to her and remember the things that matter to her. She’s not looking for some grand gesture – she’s looking for your time, patience, effort and commitment.
The little things that make up the big things in a relationship. The little things that mean the most.
4. She needs you to do things for her without her asking you or reminding you – she believes if you love someone, you’d want to do it naturally, just like she would.
She’d hope you would walk by a flower shop and think of the flowers she’d like, she’d hope you’d remember her favorite date spot and surprise her by taking her there at sunset, she’d hope you’d remember the romantic gestures because after all, she has so much inside of her that she would express and do for you.
Honestly, if she loves you truly, there isn’t much that she wouldn’t do.
5. Your girlfriend doesn’t realize she needs you to try and see her point of view, and that she doesn’t always need to be the one to apologize after an argument.
She needs you to admit when you’re wrong and to not let your ego, or hers, be the reason for a prolonged or worsened argument.
She needs you to meet her halfway, and for you, not only her, to sometimes be the one to calm the deafening storm and the harsh seas when things are rough between you.
You’re looking at her as she’s looking at you, and you both know that she doesn’t need or expect for you to place the world in her hands. She has realized she doesn’t need you to be superman, she doesn’t need you to be her only source of happiness, because that’s not how a relationship works, that’s not how it succeeds.
You’re looking at her as she’s looking at you, and you both know that she only thing she needs is to be a part of your world just as much as you are in hers.