Thank You For Leaving

Thank You For Leaving
Brooke Cagle

Thank you for leaving, because you taught me that love can exist. Love can exist without you, that you are no longer my representation of ‘love’, but of selfishness. A rare selfishness you held that, when encountered, would once turn me into ice. I remember in a letter you wrote to me a while back, when we first met, that it went from being all about “me, me, me” to “us, us, us”. Now you’re back to the former, and that’s just who you are.

Thank you for leaving, as time without you made me realise that I could live in a world where hurt doesn’t have to coexist with being alive. I was unable to fathom how a person I once thought I loved could make me feel pain that was like an endless fire burning my insides – gradually but indefinitely.

Thank you for leaving, because kissing your lips for the last time might have been the best thing to ever happen to me. It gave me the precious key to unlock and find the lips that would make my soul dance because of who they belonged to, and I didn’t even have to kiss them, solely think of them. 

Thank you for leaving, because you simultaneously closed and opened my heart – opened it to better people, to countless possibilities. If after you, I am able to wear my heart on my sleeve, it goes to show that life goes on, that the love inside us that pours out of us can overpower more than the love for any being. I look at my heart in disbelief and tell it, “You deserve so much. You deserve to beat to the sound of happiness and love.” 

Thank you for leaving, because you helped me mature into the individual I am today. It took an immense amount of strength to break through that barrier, the barrier that led me to become too cautious. Too careful. Too scared that anyone I encountered would only have ill intentions. It was exhausting to think that any seemingly kind soul would eventually turn out to be someone I didn’t want them to be, someone like you. 

Thank you for leaving, because you made me realise that I have always been the bigger person between us. I no longer feel any resentment towards you, and I don’t have to, because the harsh reality is that it is people like you that karma follows and hunts down when you least expect it. I hope one day you truly realise what it’s like, because now I don’t think you can gain perspective in your shoes.

Thank you for leaving, because even before you left, holding your hand didn’t make me feel as complete as I knew it should have. It didn’t feel like I had found the missing piece of a puzzle.

Thank you for leaving, because now I know I deserve a love that returns, that is two-sided, a love that cannot be fully explained – the best kind of love.

Thank you for leaving, because in the end, it was me leaving you – and it was the most empowering feeling in the world.

And last, but definitely not least, I thank myself for opening my eyes, mind and heart to a world where I know love is what I never I had with you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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