When you watch the affection and consideration you had for someone completely slip away…. What does it take?
Missed dates, missed calls, unchecked messages, unsent messages, left on read, emails unopened, weeks passing by. Both sides forgetting, forging on, forming new alliances, finding new muses. A disconnection of timelines and relativity, of concern and care factor, of distance creating pages that are left too blank, where misunderstandings and resentments are written in the shadows that whisper across the silences.
No longer tagged in memes, this being too familiar, no longer sent well wishes, this vulnerability now a weakness. The way time and a looking-back-perspective colors the memory with new truth, the way it shuffles sand from the beaches of regret across an unsealed surface, scratching the glass, blurring the page.
Occasional moments of reminisced friendship flutter sometimes on a flimsy breeze, but soon it is still again, and you’re back in the moment, back in the presence of the present, and your heart pumps forward, walks on, marches into the endless horizons of now, not looking back for even a moment.
And this feels ok. It feels good. You are strong in this, your stride is sure, you’re not the person you were when love knocked on the door before. You’re new, born again and again a million times over since you said goodbye, since you ached, since you cried. It will never be the same again, you will never be the same again. The door closes as you watch from your remote place in the wilderness of your heart, from the dreamscape of your soul.
And when a door closes a thousand windows fly open to the breeze of freedom and open roads and endless possibilities. You are not sorry. You are no longer sad. You are wholehearted, and you are ready.