1. Never ever let someone walk all over you.
You’ll realize a few people out there just aren’t into the things you are. Your little insecure self (everyone has one of these) will tell you otherwise, and you’ll fall victim to someone else’ opinion on how you’re taste in clothes or music is utter crap. Give them the finger, love and respect yourself for digging Justin Bieber’s new unplugged album, or the fact that you like eating your cereal with water.
2. If someone isn’t into you, they’re really just not that into you.
You can’t force love or crush. But you can always plant a seed. Be your awesome-ridiculous self, and they’ll see the comfort behind that skin.
3. Don’t fight it.
Some people completely get a rise out of belittling you. They’re usually the ones who are fighting the toughest battles with themselves. Whether they shut you down based on your political, religious, or personal beliefs, don’t be shoving your own opinions down someone’s throat and expect them to come out with an ah-hah moment. First, learn to talk with them, not at them.
4. Let go of the notion you’re missing out on something.
I know. As a twenty-something, there’s always something going on in this pop-culture driven era. Whether an awesome concert is happening and your midterm is at 8 am the next day, have your priorities straight. I know we tell ourselves we feel old, and being home alone on a Friday night has an emptiness that comes with it, but sometimes just kicking back and enjoying your own company has its benefits.
5. That you could have done something different.
Look, we all have our regrets, something we wished we could’ve done differently. But there’s no time machine that will take us to that exact moment in time to change the turnout. Maybe you cheated on a boy/girl friend and that person you hurt was the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Rather than moping and wishing you could have taken a step back and reassessed the situation, look towards and not back. Be that better version of you starting today.
6. Not everyone is willing to jump in on your party.
I have a good friend who is always doing something he truly enjoys. Whether people tag along with him or not, it makes no difference. He’s the type of guy who will go to a baseball game or the movies by himself, just to foster his own passion and interest. Begin by having fun with yourself and others will follow.
This doesn’t pertain to just people. This has to do with everything and all things. We tend to judge people and experiences even before we become immersed in on the action. Based on how someone looks, or who they’re friends with, we automatically assume the best or worst in them, strictly by associations. Even going to a movie. I have a friend who whole-downheartedly with the passion of Satan himself hates Nicolas Cage, and will refuse to watch any movies with him in it. He may have just turned down the possibility of his next favorite movie. All jokes aside, judgements are like the curtains that blinds the possibility of the next best thing. I believe that fear is the root of all judgements. Living with possibilities means letting go of your need for control. I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a preference, but go into each occasion and meeting with open arms. Being stuck in your own little world will get you only so far.
8. Changing someone.
I’ve always held the mentality that if I were giving somebody space to do their own thing, I always figured I could be the one leading by example. Unconsciously, this was my way of trying to change somebody. But when you can completely accept someone for every flaw and likeable characteristics, your judgment of them dissipates. Every action or words that come out of them, is there own being. It’s just the way they are. Whether someone is fearful of showing love in a relationship due to having hurt someone in the past, you can only listen to them and accept them as they are.
9. That happiness is found through another.
You may think you’re in an ideal ‘loving’ relationship when you can adore the characteristic and qualities of a person. This ranges from how their hair smells, to their intelligence, or the way they bbq, but thinking you’ve found the right person and telling yourself your happy because you share common characteristics will only go skin deep. The root of happiness comes from you, and finding that is a personal journey. Happiness, is of course meant to be shared, and sharing it with another who also contains a dose of this can be quite momentous.
10. That I need to have it figured out.
Some of you would have thought you’d be elsewhere at this age. Others would have figured you’d be driving a Ferrari on the Pacific Coast highway with the top down at 27. Maybe you’re still working at the restaurant you applied at 2 years ago, when things were hopeless. You’ve been a bridesmaid at one too many weddings, yet you’re still single. We’ve all consumed this idea of ‘regularity’. We follow the footsteps of what’s suited as normal and it eats away at our self esteem and character. I believe Robert Frost had said it best, ‘I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.’ Having it figured out means you lose half the fun of what life will offer you. I’m not saying you should be wandering this world hopelessly in a complete daze. What I’m saying is that life is about evolution, self growth. No life is worth living if you aren’t seeing this take place in your very own life. So throwing yourself in a place you don’t feel comfortable being in, and because it’s something you ‘should’ be doing is just self-torture. And trust me, knowing what’s next just kills half the excitement. We’re all piecing bits and pieces of this hectic puzzle at a different rate. So if you’re thinking to yourself that at this age you should be able to afford that modern couch, or your hands are gathering tears of misery from the picture update of your best friend who is 8 months pregnant as her husbands snuggly lays on her belly, while screaming ‘why not me!’ there are other adventures waiting for you out there. Never take the shortcuts, because you’ll miss the beauty of perseverance along the way.