Having worked in sports media for nearly a decade, I’m more than familiar with press releases — a relatively short, but informative one-page document that outlines the pertinent details of whatever the sender wants known.
Press releases are often sent to several outlets, so everyone is receiving the same message. All things considered, press releases are an extremely helpful and valuable resource in my line of work. Part of dealing with press releases with regularity is that you know how to spot one, whether the information is written to you or vocally expressed to you.
I’ve noticed that a lot of women use similar phrases when letting a guy down or breaking up with him. I call it, “The Press Release.” Perhaps some of these lines sound familiar:
“You’re a really great guy, but…”
“Any girl would be lucky to have you, but…”
“I’m just not the girl for you.”
Amid the complimentary fluff used to cushion the impending blow of a rejection, there is, eventually, a rejection. There is something in that text message or conversation that clearly gets across the point that she does not want to be with you.
Some women will stick to the generic lines and get it over with, and some will add a little more sincerity to it, but all will have the common theme that you are not the one for them.
I don’t know that there is a male version of the press release in dating. If one exists, I don’t know about it. Even if I knew about it, I still wouldn’t use it. If you’re going to reject someone, at least make it authentic in some way.
Trying to “let someone down easily” by spewing a bunch of generic crap that makes it seem like they are just another person will do absolutely nothing to help them get over the breakup, and it won’t do much to help their self-confidence, either.
I’ve dated a lot of women in my life, be it for one date or a couple of years, but each was a unique person. It would be unjust to say that any two were identical to one another. There was something about every single one of them that made me want to invest the time and effort into seeing them.
To dismiss them as just another experience would be ignorant, at best.
The press release, at its core, may not be all that authentic or sincere, but it does contain the most vital bit of information: a rejection.
I would much rather get turned down by a series of bland clichés than waste days, weeks, or months out of my life putting in effort for someone who does not appreciate it or want to receive it.
No matter what anyone tells you, there is no good way to reject someone. The only time there will ever be a clean break between two people is if neither person wanted to pursue the relationship and one was beaten to the punch on the breakup.
In almost every situation, someone — usually the person getting rejected — is more emotionally invested. The best you can do is be genuine, be respectful, make sure it’s clear that you don’t want to be with them, and let the chips fall where they may.