By the headline alone, many of you have probably already drawn a preconceived notion about the theme of this: “Typical guy — attracted to every girl he sees,” or, “Another guy trying to justify not being able to keep it in his pants.” Neither of those is the case.
It’s something that I’ve always known, but never really acknowledged out loud until one of my female volleyball teammates recently called me out on it: “I feel like you find every girl attractive.”
Yes and no.
Finding someone attractive and thinking they are good-looking are two different things.
Attraction goes beneath the surface. It’s deeper than her hair, her eyes, or her smile. Attraction, for me, is about her laugh, how she treats people, what makes her tick, and the chemistry between us. Attraction doesn’t happen everyday, but I see pretty women almost everywhere I go.
It could be the cute girl waiting on line to get coffee, the girl driving past me on the bridge, or perhaps the friend of a friend. Just this week, there was a pretty girl on the opposing volleyball team, and then I couldn’t keep my eyes off our waitress at the restaurant afterwards.
I didn’t know what it was about her, but something kept drawing my attention in her direction. Maybe it was her braided ponytail, maybe it was the smile that sporadically made an appearance, or maybe it was the subconscious reminder that she resembled someone from my past; any of them were reasonable conclusions.
“I’m surprised you think she’s pretty, since she’s not a blonde,” another female volleyball teammate said, busting chops.
The truth is that there are beautiful women everywhere — or at least everywhere I go. I can’t help it. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to.
They say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and I just happen to find beautiful qualities in women almost everywhere. This doesn’t mean I’m going to hit on them, or pine after them, or swoon over them. They are physically appealing to me, and nothing more in that moment.
It’s possible to find someone physically attractive and not act on it. There’s also nothing wrong with finding a number of different people physically attractive. There are people who have types, but most more than likely have preferences.
If you want a girl who is college-educated, short, and has blonde hair, and if you are unwilling to waver on any of those, then that’s your type. If you would like someone with those qualities, but you don’t mind dating someone who is on the taller side, went to work out of high school, or has black, brunette, or — dare I say it — red hair, then they are merely preferences.
At the end of the day, I know that I’ll find my future significant other to be stunningly gorgeous; but that will merely be one facet of her that I find attractive.
She could be 5-foot- 4 or 5-foot- 9; she could be a starving artist like me or make three times what I do; she might have tie-dyed hair for all I know; none of that is important. What will matter is if she treats people with kindness and respect, if she has passion and drive, and if our life plans correspond with one another.
I don’t know when or where I’ll meet her, but I do know that she’ll be one of the hundreds or thousands of girls I’ve looked at and said, be it out loud or to myself, “Wow, she’s pretty.”
Maybe I’ll see a pretty girl when I go to work today, and maybe not. Maybe I’ll ask out the cute waitress sometime, and maybe not. What I know is that the world around us is a lot more beautiful than we may acknowledge; sometimes we’re just not looking close enough.