What My Mother’s Remarriage Taught Me About Love

Chris Photography(王權)
Chris Photography(王權)

Her legs were trembling, and not just because she never wears heels. While that may have been the case anyway, this was her wedding day; so she had a joke-free pass all day.

Her hands were shaking, and every couple of seconds she would let out a deep sigh.

Even while whispering in conversation as the music started to play, there was still a crackle in her voice.

I was standing next to her, arms interlocked, ready to walk her down the aisle; but at that point I realized I was also keeping her from falling over in the chapel.

She’s marrying a man she grew up with. But despite him having “loved her since he was 10,” they never dated until their reunion more than three decades later.

Their eight-year relationship had taught me a lot as I went on my own search for love, but I had never learned more than I did during those exchanging of vows.

Over the course of their partnership, I had gone through two different exclusive relationships and a few other dates that didn’t produce any type of commitment, be it through my choice or hers.

I’m an impulsive guy — a trait I undoubtedly get from my father’s side. I’m passionate, and somewhat outspoken; traits that I can see coming from either side of my bloodline.

I’m also a hopeless romantic, which, honestly, I think is just the product of having seen one too many rom-coms and episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

Whether or not they know it (and if either one of them are reading this now, they do), I’ve studied their relationship — how it even came to be, how they made it work, and how they continue to make it work every day.

What fascinates me most is how they were right there for each other over 30 years ago and neither one did anything about it; then, through a marriage and two kids of their own, they managed to find each other again.

“He never asked me (out),” my mom always jokes, admitting that she would’ve agreed had he asked.

I guess they’re living proof that if two people are meant to be together, they will find a way back to each other.

As romantic of a thought as that is, I can’t help but constantly wonder what would’ve happened had he just asked her out in high school.

Would they still be married? Would there still be two boys and two girls in the picture?

I can’t imagine caring that deeply about someone and then having to wait so long to be with them.

Part of me counters that thought by saying that if waiting an extended period of time for someone means you’ll have a lifetime with them, then that’s a hell of a tradeoff.

Maybe it’s greed, or maybe it’s a fear of regret, but I’d rather take that risk out of the equation.

I’m the type of guy that if I like a girl, I’ll tell her. I wear my heart of my sleeve not out of desperation for love, but because I don’t want someone I am interested in (and who may be interested in me) to not know where I’m at, emotionally.

I don’t believe in the mental standoff between two people where neither wants to give in as to how they truly feel. If I like you, I’ll tell you. I hope she does the same. I don’t see how keeping our feelings inside benefits either of us.

I’ve always believed in true love, and I finally saw it in its purest form when they exchanged their vows.

You can see it in the way they look at each other; the way they talk to each other; the way they hold each other.

That’s the kind of love I want. Hell, I don’t anyone who wouldn’t want that kind of love.

My mother’s remarriage taught me that love — true love — can survive anything, and that when you have it, it’s the most amazing thing in this world.

It’s also given me hope that if two people do go on separate paths in life, they can still make their way back to each other.

Again, I’m impulsive, so I’m probably going to ask the girl out if I want to date her or ask to be with her exclusively if I don’t want to see anyone else, but they have proven to me that love can still work even if nobody asks the initial question.

They say timing is everything in relationships, and the timing is not always perfect.

Maybe they’re leaving town for vacation, or college, or the military, or to move. Whatever the case may be, if you both want it, you should both fight for it.

It may eat and gnaw at you to wait days, weeks, months, years, or decades to be with someone, but if it’s for the right person, the time spent together will far outweigh every second you spent apart.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

Keep up with Mike on Instagram, Twitter and mikezacchio.com

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