Regardless whether you’re a male or female, before you settle down with the one you care most about, you should go through a promiscuous phase at some point in your life.
Date people. Date a lot of people. Date more than one person at a time. While you’re looking, you might as well see what’s out there. When you’re in search of a new car, you don’t just go to the first one that interests you and stick with it; you shop around. Your dating life should be no different.
We all know that, whether it’s right or not, there’s a double standard: If a guy is dating or sleeping around a lot, he’s a player — someone who should be looked up to by other guys; if a girl is dating or sleeping around a lot, she’s looked down upon by other girls (and some guys).
You don’t have to sleep with someone you’re dating, but it’s your prerogative and you shouldn’t be judged one way or the other. However, if you haven’t found the person you’re looking for, why not have some fun?
I’ve always said, written and maintained — that I am a one-woman guy. I’ve stated on this site that I prefer a relationship over dating (while I wasn’t in a relationship), but now that I’m in one, I’m glad that I had my run of fun because it led me to a pretty amazing person.
I’m a firm believer in that you will never know what you want in life — whether it’s a partner, a car, a house, or a new phone — until you know what you don’t want first. Most people are flexible when it comes to things they would like in a person (some prefer blondes over brunettes, some prefer tall over short, etc.) and are willing to compromise or overlook certain things, but it’s tough to compromise or overlook something that you may consider a deal-breaker (smoker, does/doesn’t want kids, etc.).
In 26 years of life, and no more so than in the past nine months, I’ve learned a lot about myself — who I am and what I’m not; what I want and what I don’t; what I can live with and what I can’t live with. If you’re not learning something every day you’re on this Earth, you’re wasting the time that’s been given to you.
Like most men (and I know I’m speaking about the majority of us here), I’m a simple creature. Like any human, men have layers, but our outer layers are much thicker than the rest of us, meaning that it doesn’t take much to reveal a lot about us.
Most girls I dated had at least one quality that I would like in a girlfriend, but every single one of them had at least one quality that was a deal-breaker, just as I’m sure I had a deal-breaker for them. The point is that I would’ve never found out about them unless I put myself out there to be in the position to find out.
If you want to sleep with the people you date, let your freak flag fly; just be safe; you don’t want one hour of your life to ruin the rest of it. If you don’t want to sleep with any of them, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I believe that sexual chemistry is vital to any successful relationship, but I also know that others don’t have the same views I do.
If you happen to find the person you want to be with right away, hold on to them. If you’re still looking, there’s no harm in test-driving around town.