A true best friend is not just the person you can tell anything to. They’re not just the person you can be a complete goofball with. They’re not just the person who “just gets you” on multiple levels. Yes, they are all of those things, but there’s so much more to the best-friend makeup.
I’ve always been under the belief that my future wife will also be my best friend – someone I can confide in; someone who will dance and sing along like an idiot to Meghan Trainor’s “Title” with me in the car; someone who understands what I am and makes up what I’m not, all at the same time.
More importantly, someone who pushes me.
I’ll allow for a brief moment so that you can all laugh and/or make your Miss Norbury jokes.
Got that out of your system? OK, back to reality.
Being a “pusher” isn’t something you should want in a best friend (future mate or otherwise), but should be mandatory. A pusher will not allow you to settle. A pusher will make you become a better person in all areas of your life, then will keep pushing you to become an even better person. A true best friend will push you forward and will lift you up, not hold you back or bring you down.
There are so many misconceptions about best friends, one of which being that you can only have one. Aside from the fact that you are more than within your right to have two best friends (or three, or four, or seven), they are not just someone to have fun with.
You should butt heads with your best friend(s), but rarely fight.
You should be able to tell a best friend the harsh truth they need to hear and that nobody else has the guts to say to them, but be prepared (and wanting) to hear the same from them when the time arises.
While I can’t speak for all of the “pushers” in the world, I’m sure it’s a common trait amongst the greater majority of them that they are excellent at providing perspective. Because your best friend wants the best for you, they will push you past your daydream and into reality.
It’s great that you’re excited about a possible new job opportunity, but don’t go counting your chickens before they hatch. A pusher will be rooting for you to get the job or promotion, but will also be the one to help provide you with a back-up plan.
The biggest benefit I see in having not one, but two best friends who are exceptional pushers is when it comes to love life.
Whether it’s trying to figure out how to address a certain matter (good or bad), or them telling you their honest breakdown of someone, there’s nothing more beneficial than having someone who is removed from the situation show you what you might not see because you’re too close.
The best thing about pushers? They never push too far.
The reason best friends can be so harsh sometimes is because they genuinely do want the best for you. The more resistant you are to hearing it probably indicates that you believe them and just don’t want to hear it in the moment.
Anything a pusher says is for your benefit. So if they say something negative – especially if they say something negative – about someone you’re just starting to date, the way you’ve been acting, or anything else, really, it’s all because they care about you.
You could easily surround yourself with “yes” people, who will support anything and everything you say, but that won’t help you grow as a person.
Pushers will continue to push you to be the best person you can possibly be; and just when you think you’re at a perfect place in your life, a pusher will push some more.