Why I Don’t Want My Next Relationship To Be “Facebook Official”


First off, I know that Facebook has already begun its transition into obscurity (at least for 20-somethings and younger), but there are still people who regularly use the social media site.

During my college years, a relationship was not considered official to your social circle until you and your beau accepted each other’s Facebook “in a relationship with” requests and became “Facebook official,” or what will henceforth be referred to as “FBO.”

I get it, in all aspects — some want to flaunt that they’re in a relationship; some want anyone who may have an eye for your significant other to know that they are off the market; some just want their nagging families to know that for the foreseeable future you are not going to die alone. Trust me, I get it.

Maybe it’s growing up and maturing, but not only do I not want my next relationship to be FBO, I strongly oppose it. It’s one thing if it’s just laziness and not wanting to go through the (quick and painless) process; it’s another to wholeheartedly not want it.

“What’s the big deal?”

Since many haven’t realized this (at whatever age they’re at), there’s an all-but-certain chance that the person you’re currently seeing will not be the person you spend the rest of your life with. I, personally, don’t want to have to deal with breaking the “in a relationship” status and then fielding questions from people I really don’t talk to regularly… or anyone else, really.

I know the type of man I am, and I know that I’ll never cheat on my girlfriend. I think that two people who care about each other enough to commit to one another is a special thing, and if it leads to love, you have something great on your hands. I’m not stupid enough to risk that on testing the waters somewhere else.

The grass may always appear greener, but it’s more than likely a mirage.

I also know that I’m not the overly jealous type. A lot of guys get extremely defensive if you catch them looking at their girl, even though most of time you have no idea she’s unavailable. Personally, I love it when a guy looks at my girl. I think we should both take it as a compliment.

Call me crazy, but in terms of monogamy, I see no difference between marriage and a regular relationship. If I give you my word to be faithful to you and you give me your word you will be faithful to me, it ends there.

I’m not going to question you about every guy you mention; I’m never going to look through your phone; and I’m never going to betray your trust. It’s the simplicity of just being there and being honest with one another that, I feel, people lose sight of. They complicate things with all of these subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways to let the world know: “We’re together.”

In a perfect world, my next girlfriend won’t even have a Facebook. If pictures go up of us, it’s because I want to share them, not because I want the people of Facebook to know, “Sorry, taken.”

However, the reality is that if and when I do find myself in a relationship, it will only be a matter of time until we are FBO. That’s just the realistic truth; and I’m just not particularly fond of it.

That’s not to say that I will never look forward to changing my relationship status on Facebook; the only difference is that when I’m happy to flip the switch, it will be to say, “Married to.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

Keep up with Mike on Instagram, Twitter and mikezacchio.com

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