If you don’t watch the MTV show, Guy Code, then you’ve surely heard of the unspoken bond between guys — the gene that is “embedded in our DNA,” as J Cole states. If you do watch the show, hopefully you do so with enough of an open mind to know that you can’t take everything these comedians say to heart.
I think that, in general, guys get the reputation of being pigs. Some of the material in the show does little to help disprove that notion, despite the cast being predominately male. One example: Defending your friend if he’s cheating on his girlfriend and/or helping him cover it up.
Before we go any further, let me just say that I don’t associate with douchebags; and cheating is a douchebag move. If you don’t hang out with people who are liable to cheat, you never need to be in this situation. That being said, if my friend was cheating and I found out, I would tell him point-blank: “You’re a douche. If your girlfriend comes to me, I’m not lying to her.” If I’m friends with his girlfriend, I may tell him to cut one of the girls loose immediately or I’m telling her. If that makes me a rat, I’m fine with that. Nobody should be deceived like that. I don’t think there’s any honor in defending a cheater. I also don’t need the added stress of the cheating for no reason. (I know Ari Gold knows what I’m talking about.) If that bothers you, we can’t be friends.
Think about it: If your significant other is cheating on you, wouldn’t you want to know? Would you think the person who lets you know is a “rat,” or a decent human being? I try to put myself in other people’s shoes. I would never cheat, but if I did, for whatever reason, I would hope that my friend had the balls to smack some sense into me. I know I’m not the only guy who feels this way. I know plenty of guys who strongly (and rightfully) oppose cheating and wouldn’t defend their friend if they knew they were doing it. If you know about someone else’s affair and don’t say anything, you’re guilty by association. The way I see it, there are two ways to deal with it: (a) tell your friend to end it and/or inform the significant other; or (b) end the friendship.
Ending the friendship may sound harsh, and a bit drastic, but if your friend doesn’t respect you for trying to make him stop acting like a douche, he probably isn’t your friend. Also, if the person is capable of deceiving his significant other, he’s capable of deceiving you and likely isn’t trustworthy.