My closest friends already know that I neither enjoy nor understand today’s hook-up culture ways; mostly because they’ve heard me bitch about it enough times. I just never understood the point of wanting to go to a local bar or club and trying to: (a) get a number; (b) make-out with someone; or (c) sleep with someone, then never bothering with it again.
I’m not above it. I’ve gone out multiple times with the sole purpose of just trying to get a number, make-out with someone or sleep with someone. Sometimes, the night goes off as planned; other nights, it doesn’t.
Let me make something clear: I’m not saying there is anything wrong with getting someone’s number, making out with them, or sleeping with them. It’s the fact of doing nothing afterwards that confounds me.
Why would you ask for someone’s number if you had no intentions of calling or texting them? Even worse, why would you give your number to someone who you did not want to hear from again? Going off that note, if you get the number and want to pursue things, are you ignored? If you give the number, have you called someone a “creep” for wanting to pursue things? Back to the overall point, why would you make-out with someone just to say you made out with them? Why would you sleep with someone just to say you slept with them?
When I was younger (well, younger than I am now, that is), it was great. There was no better feeling than knowing you pulled a number or that you managed to go from complete strangers with someone to having your tongues in each other’s mouth only hours later. Now, not so much.
Don’t get me wrong, making out is awesome and great sex is, well, great. But, as I look back at what happened between ages 18 and 25, I realized what changed: I’ve been in love.
Not the, “I’m-saying-I-love-you-because-I-feel-like-I-have-to” love — I’m talking genuine, head-over-heels in love with someone. The kind of love that gives you a high no drug or alcoholic substance can match. The kind of love you fight for. The kind of love that teaches you what “making love” is all about.
After a random 1 a.m. thought one night, I came to this realization and it seems to make sense in a lot of ways. Random hook-ups can be incredible, but they’ll never be as passionate as when you are kissing someone you are in love with. Sex is one thing and making love is another; the two aren’t even in the same conversation.
Maybe being in love and experiencing that high of knowing what kind of passion can exist between two people has left me unable to accept anything less.
That, I believe, is the real reason why I hate today’s hook-up culture.