At some point, you will be in a relationship and your friend won’t, or vice versa. At some point during the course of said relationship, you might even hear, think, or utter the, “you’re just jealous,” line, or something to that effect.
Chances are you are not jealous, nor are the friends you are speaking to. If you’re complaining or are being complained to, it may seem like jealousy, but odds are it’s not. So, for the couples out there who think their friends are salty just because you are in a relationship, here’s why it may seem that way:
1. You’ve gone ghost
It’s great that you have a significant other; really, I’m truly happy for you. However, what I am not happy about is the fact that you’ve completely disappeared from our social circle. Rather than spend all your time with them, why not balance out your time or — and here’s a crazy thought — bring them out and we can all hang?
2. You both have morphed into one giant love puddle
This usually happens during the “honeymoon” phase, or, the first three months of a relationship, but couples who are overly-lovely-dubby and PDA-filled usually make everyone around them (friends or strangers) sick. Again, we’re not jealous that you have a relationship, but do you have to have your significant other’s tongue as an entrée? You guys can be into the kinkiest Fifty Shades stuff and the majority of us won’t care; but when you’re having softcore porn in public on a regular occurrence, it’s disgusting.
3. You’ll turn to them when you break up
The reality is that you two likely won’t wind up getting married or dating for multiple years. More than half of the people who actually tie the knot eventually split, which means your odds of eventually breaking up are much higher. And when you break up, to whom will you go to? Your friends, if you’re still close with them or if they’ll talk to you. “Oh, you’ve ignored me/us all this time, but now that you broke up, you want comfort and support?” Whether or not you realized that you were slowly cutting them out of your life or not and whether or not it was intentional, this will be the perception.
The point: Obviously, the above reasons all describe an unhealthy relationship. No couple should be so submerged in themselves that the rest of the world does not exist. If that’s the kind of relationship you want, don’t be surprised if people walk out of your life and don’t come back.
Friends — real friends — will be so happy for you being in a good relationship that they will want you to last. They will want you get married, have kids and experience all of that. Not for nothing, but who wouldn’t want their friends to be happy and who would want to see their friends go through a break up? The fact that you are in an unhealthy relationship is the reason it seems like your friends hate your relationship, not because you’re happy (or at least seem happy).
Your friends want the best for you — plain and simple.