The Difference Between Being Romantic Vs. Being Creepy

Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous
Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous

They say that the line between genius and insanity is hair-thin, and I tend to agree. Not only do I agree, I think it’s a phenomenal notion. It opens your mind to think differently; it humanizes people, in my mind. I tend to think the same way about affection. I’ve come to the realization that there is one distinct difference between a gesture being considered extremely “romantic” or extremely “creepy,” and that is simply: the other person’s feelings.
Depending on how someone feels about you, your actions can be viewed as sincere, genuine and sweet; or they can be viewed as kind of sketchy.

One Valentine’s Day, a girl who had a crush on me gave me a pair of drumsticks out of nowhere. I remember (as a 12-year-old) thinking it was odd at first. I didn’t really give her any indication that I liked her, but the fact that she knew I was a drummer and thought enough to get me something like that was so sweet. Times have changed now, and I feel like I’m the girl with the crush way too often.

One of the most innocent examples of this includes texting too much. For some reason, I’ve noticed that more girls tend to be “victims” of this than guys, but that’s not to say it’s not a two-way street. If you text someone a lot, especially in the early stages of meeting someone or dating, the other person will likely think one of two things: (a) He/she is really into me — great!; or (b) Oh my God, he/she won’t leave me alone! I’ve been there. If I really like someone and she texts me a lot, I love it. If I’m not really into her, sometimes I need a break.

Since I work nights and my schedule changes week-to-week, I am often on different schedules than most people, which is why I like the option of texting — say what you need to say, and the other person (or you) responds when they can. Obviously I prefer to see the person, but when we’re not together, I’ve learned to embrace the option of texting. Back to the point at hand. When I’m having a conversation with someone — face-to-face or phone — I listen. I want to hear what you have to say and I want to learn more about you. More importantly, I want to learn things about you that other people don’t know.

Very rarely do I do things unintentionally. When you casually mentioned a week ago that you love the group *NSYNC, it’s not a coincidence when “It’s Gonna Be Me” is playing when I pick you up. When you said that you want to open a roadside hotdog stand one day in the future, it’s not a coincidence when I take you to some of the local stops around town. If I’m asking you out on a first date and I really liked you, why is it creepy if I ask your friend what some of the things you like are, so that I can surprise you? If you like Italian food, I would want to find out your favorite place, or the place that the makes the best of your favorite dish, if possible. Many times what I think is “going the extra mile,” is often “going too far” in some people’s eyes.

Maybe I just haven’t met the person who likes that I remember the little idiosyncrasies, but that’s OK. I would just rather not be viewed at as a “creep” for trying to pay an interest into someone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

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