Why We Should Stop Trying To Impress Everyone


I have a breaking news flash to report for everyone reading this post: no matter who you are, not everyone is going to be attracted to you. And that’s perfectly fine. The best example I can think of (off the top of my head) is when my mom makes a stank face every time she hears Brad Pitt or Matthew McConaughey’s name because she thinks they smell.

It doesn’t matter that she has never met them to confirm or deny this accusation, nor does it matter that most women find these men to be among the sexiest in the world. So guys, if Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey have at least one hater out there, you can bet your ass that there are plenty of girls who won’t be feeling your vibe. And that’s perfectly fine.

It took me a while to come to grips with this reality, but now that I have, it’s opened a new door of thinking. Between listening to friends and society stereotypes through the years, I thought there was a certain protocol I had to follow: (a) never make it seem like you’re actually interested in a girl; (b) if you go on a date, wait (insert number) of days to call or text her again; you get the point.

It wasn’t until around sometime last year that I realized, “F-ck all of that; I’m going to do what I want.” I’m much different than most guys in my generation; this I’ve known for a very long time. So, rather than pretend to be something I’m not, I’ve just decided to be who I am. If I think you’re pretty, I’m going to tell you that you’re pretty. If I think you’re beautiful, I’m going to tell you that you’re beautiful. If I think you have amazing eyes, I’m going to tell you that you have amazing eyes.

If we hit it off one night, I’m probably going to call or text you the next day, or even that night if I really had that great of a time. If we hit it off on a date, I’m definitely going to tell you that I had a great time. I don’t know why some men are so petrified to say or do what they really feel, or why some women are so petrified when a guy shows how he really feels.

Personally, I think that if we threw out the cookie-cutter tray way we approach things, people would be a lot happier. Knowing how another feels from the start ends the dilemma of trying to figure out where each of you stands. However, I know that won’t happen. Men will still play games and women will still have their guards up.

In any case, I’m not concerned with what everyone else does; I’m concerned with what I do. Personally, I think we should all do the same: be concerned with what we — as individuals — want. Do you like a guy or girl? Tell him or her. Did you have a good time with them? Tell them. Do you want to make a move on them? Make it. If there’s something you want to say, dammit, say it.

We shouldn’t be trying to impress everyone; we should be trying to impress the one.

Before I wrap this up, let me just say that I believe that there is no such thing as the “one and only,” person — the one people build up in their heads to be the one. There are billions of people in this world and I’m positive that there are several perfect matches for every person walking this Earth.

When I say the one, I mean the one who loves you for everything you are (or can at least tolerate the parts of you that irk them). If you’re able to find someone who loves every single thing about you — with no flaws — you’re in rare company, but congratulations. For the rest of the world, there’s bound to be some pet peeve we have to overlook.

I am not the man for every woman out there, but somewhere there is a woman like that. I am the man for her and she is the one for me. And I can’t wait to meet her. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

Keep up with Mike on Instagram, Twitter and mikezacchio.com

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