25 Things I Learned About Women Before 25

Spectacular Now [Blu-ray]
Spectacular Now [Blu-ray]

1. Big sunglasses on a girl are incredibly deceptive — you don’t know what’s behind them; it covers a lot.

2. Yoga pants are also deceptive, to a degree, but do you really care?

3. Her room is probably messier than yours. Yes, even your pigsty of a room. Her car is probably messier, too.

4. Don’t completely judge her by her social media presence.

5. Never underestimate an awesome laugh — if you haven’t heard her laugh, you’re doing something wrong.

6. You can tell a lot about a girl by the family she comes from and how she acts with/towards them.

7. You can tell 10-times more from the company she keeps.

8. Watch for the “Ugly Duckling” syndrome — that nerdy, yet kind-of-cute girl you paid no mind to in high school will likely be the knockout you keep glancing at in the bar in your 20s.

9. Avoid the party girls — trust me.

10. If she can’t hold a conversation for more than a minute, just leave. It’s a massive waste of your time.

11. Recognize how attractive it is for a girl to go out in a simple t-shirt, jeans and ponytail — she has the confidence to go out, have a good time and possibly meet someone without having to get all “dolled up” first.

12. If she has “rules” when dating guys, she’s probably not worth your time.

13. If she has “qualifications” for dating guys (yes, there’s a difference), she’s definitely not worth your time — even if you meet all of them.

14. If she needs alcohol or drugs to have a good time, she’s not worth your time.

15. If she’s dated nothing but douchebags up until this point, she’ll probably always date douchebags; there’s nothing you can do about that, no matter how much you preach.

16. Don’t judge her for watching trash T.V. So what if she likes Keeping Up The Kardashians? As long as she’s not trying to be a Kardashian, it’s all good. She probably thinks at least one show/sport you watch is stupid.

17. If she’s willing to embarrass herself, it’s adorable; if she is an embarrassment to herself, it’s trashy. Know the difference.

18. Be up-front with her. If she’s into you and you’re not into her, tell her. Don’t string her along. Think about how you feel when a girl does it to you — it sucks.

19. If you’re going on a date with someone, make sure you find out if it’s a date. Some girls think you’re “just hanging out,” whether they realize or not that you think it’s a date. If you’re “just hanging out,” split the bill; if not, pay (that last one should be self-explanatory, but just in case, there’s your reminder). Do not feel obligated to pay just because you’re out with a girl (“hanging out”) — you (hopefully) work, she (hopefully) works and your money is of no less value than hers.

20. Meet her parents and shake her father’s hand, even if she tells you not to. The right girl will respect you for it, but more importantly, her parents will respect you; and that will make your life a lot easier.

21. Do not ever have unprotected sex with someone unless you’re in a relationship and are prepared for parenthood. I don’t care how much she likes you, or how good it will feel. You’re probably not ready to have a kid, so wrap your tool, fool.

22. If you’re with the right girl, staying home and watching a movie with her is a million times better than banging that hot girl from the bar.

23. Don’t lie to her. If she’s a level-headed human being, she’ll understand. If you cheat, that’s on you.

24. There’s a difference between a girl who’s clingy, and a girl who wants to spend time with you. Learn the difference.

25. Your goal shouldn’t be to sleep with girls, it should be to wake up with a woman. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

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