You’re going to be okay.
I know this, because I’m going through it right now.
I am going to warn you that it is going to hurt. The first few weeks are going to be the hardest. It’s going to hurt so much that some days you just keep crying and crying until you physically can’t anymore. Some days, you won’t have any motivation to get out of bed. Other days, you’ll feel like it’s the end of the world. But let me tell you, it’s not.
It’s not the end of the world, this just marks a new beginning in your life, and it’s going to be okay.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years, but you’re going to be okay. I promise you that you will get up one morning and they won’t be the first thing in your mind anymore. You will get up and start your day and not think about them at all. Maybe you’ll hear a song on the radio or drive by a familiar place and remember a memory and miss them, but you will get through it. There will be some days where you break down and ask yourself if you made the right decision.
There will be some days where you cry in your car and think about what would have happened if you made a different decision, and you will think about all the reasons why it didn’t work out. You’ll ask yourself what you did wrong.
But in reality, it doesn’t matter. Because what’s past is truly in the past. Everything does happen for a reason. And the reason why it didn’t work out? Simply, because there is a better plan out there for you. Simply, because you deserve better and it is waiting out there for you.
I am not going to lie, it’s been almost a month for me and I still find myself crying on my drive home and I ask myself why things ended the way they did. Sometimes I think about him during the middle of the day and I realize that no one is texting me to ask how my day is going so far. Sometimes, I remember the good, and sometimes, I remember the bad. But day by day, it gets easier.
[2 1/2 months later]
I wrote the above 2 and a half months ago and I couldn’t bring myself to submit it until I knew I was ready. These past two months have really helped me grow as a person, and thinking about all of it, I have become a firm believer in everything working out in the end. I still ask myself everyday if I’m okay. But every morning that I wake up, I feel better. I feel better in the fact that I am slowly letting go of someone that was toxic to me.
I feel better in the idea that I am now happier and in a better place. I still miss him, I still think about him, but I have finally come to accept that although you can still love a person so much, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should be with them. To this day, he still continues to text me and I have not responded because I want to give myself a chance to move on, on my own.
On April 1st, 2015, I received an email about someone reading my article and how they were going through the same situation. In all honesty, that email was my sign that I was finally ready to let it all go. So I sent a last text to him saying goodbye, and sending that text, I felt a huge wave of relief. It felt like an anchor being lifted off of my chest. Although it is bittersweet to let go of someone you love and someone you’ve had in your life for a long time, I have never been more confident in the decision I am making. I am so happy, excited, scared, and anxious all at the same time of this new beginning in my life. I can’t wait to see what’s out there ahead of me.
You’re going to be okay, I promise you.