11 Things Girls Should Remember When Letting Guys Know They’re Interested

A few years ago, one of my good friends asked for advice on pursuing a guy for the first time. I told her I would type up my best, and harshest, pieces of advice from my own experiences and from other friends’ experiences, and a few weeks later I sent her the following:

1. Two text/two personalized Snapchat rule: try to initiate texting no more than twice in a row. After that, you have to wait and hope that the guy initiates. Be patient. If he doesn’t text you first within a week after you text him first, then postpone or cancel the pursuit.

2. Don’t like every single one of his Instagrams. Even if they are awesome, just don’t. While it may flatter him, it might come across a little strange. Similarly, don’t like too many of his Facebook pictures so that you don’t come off stalkerish (even if you aren’t).

3. Be yourself around him. While that sounds obvious and cliché, I’m sure you’ve watching someone put on a face to get a guy’s attention.

4. Don’t be a pleaser. Don’t agree with everything he likes because you want him to like you. He can tell you he loves X movie and you don’t like that movie, say it. Everyone wants to have everything in common with a guy they meet, but no one does. Who cares? Makes it more interesting.

5. When you see him out, don’t talk about whatever class you have together, whatever paper you just finished, the exam coming in 3 months, or anything involving homework. The only exception is if you had an unbelievably awesome or funny interaction with an infamous professor/teacher. No school talk. You’re not in a library.

6. Be realistic. Know your range. Maybe you want to go for the coolest kids, but that doesn’t make you any cooler. Go for the people who you actually have a connection with. Don’t write anyone off because they aren’t stereotypically cool. Just because your friends say someone is weird doesn’t mean you won’t like them.

7. Don’t judge a book by its cover. People change, people make mistakes, people do dumb things that stay with them. Unless someone is known universally for being a huge asshole to girls, it’s extremely possible they’ve learned whatever lesson got them into trouble in the first place.

8. Be ballsy. Guys don’t always have to initiate hanging out. If you’re interested in someone, ask them casually to get dinner. If you see them in the library in the evening, go talk to them and see if they’re hungry. Why not? Nothing to lose. If anything else you’ve made a stronger friendship

9. Don’t do anything you don’t feel ready to do. Don’t do something because you want to make the guy happy, want to feel better about yourself, or want him to like you. If he’s a good guy, he won’t care if you say you aren’t trying to reproduce the first time you hang out.

10. Look beyond the people you see the most. You find people in the most unexpected places, and they find you in the most unexpected places.

11. It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all. No guy is going to come knocking at your door if you stay in the whole weekend. No one. No one is magically going to appear in your bed. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – Easy A

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