So what if you were running late and you spilled coffee all over yourself and your phone fell through the side area between your center console and the seat (WTF) and you left your wallet at home and the E light just came on and you have to drive through rush hour traffic on a FRIDAY. No no, a perfect girlfriend keeps it together and as soon as the day ends, she wipes off the dust that her phone encountered during it’s time on the car floor, throws her coffee stained shirt in the wash and greets her boyfriend with a huge smile without carrying any of that anger into their perfect evening together. No excuses!
As emotional and sensitive us girls can be, your boyfriend is not going to know what the hell to do when you cry, especially when you cry all the freakin’ time..that is, unless you are dating the .001 % of guys that are just as sensitive and emotional as you, then cry away..(and also make sure he is not..well, you know…) (that was a joke, relax).. Anyway, for the rest of the male population, the more you cry, the more they try to block it out. So don’t cry girls. Fight through the urge to shed a tear and force that awesome smile of yours!
*The time of the month may make this extremely difficult. I suggest putting on a sad movie, making that drive to get some froyo or just jumping in the shower and you can get it all out then.
Yes, I know your boyfriend is the best thing in the world and you just can’t get enough of him. His hands are made to fit perfectly into yours and you want to kiss him and hug him and just keep your hands on him allllll of the time! He keeps you warm at night and you want to cuddle the shit out of him. Well, just don’t. Don’t follow him around like a little puppy, don’t always offer to help, and absolutely never ever hang on to him at the grocery store, hardware store, or any store for that matter!
You have been dating your man for over a year now and things are getting kind of serious. You practically live with him (He gives you the keys to his place AND a garage clicker to his parking structure, score!) , you tell each other everything and he is now your best friend..HOWEVER, Don’t forget one tiny (or huge) detail. He is NOT a girl. Keep your girly crap to yourself and tell your girlfriends next Saturday during girls night. Need examples? Don’t tell him you need to lose weight because in high school you had the hottest bod and want to try a diet and it would be so so cool if he could support you by doing it with you..or…EVERYONE is getting engaged, married and having babies all over Facebook and you have this picture perfect wedding stuck in your head so you send him a link to your Pinterest board called “ONE DAY” or “I do I do I do!”
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER bring up marriage, wedding, “future planning”, or anything that even remotely comes close to “tying the knot”. Gush to your friends about the perfect engagement ring, that beautiful strapless Vera Wang, etc etc etc… 3-6 months into a relationship, you WILL talk about marriage with your beau and it will be super cute, but don’t mention it again. Seriously. Do you want to ruin your chances of ever getting married??? Hell no! You have been dreaming about this for ever!! SO when you snag the perfect guy (which I am surprised you did, congrats!) keep him around by not mentioning any of this.
What are you doing!! Talking about your past relationships is a big huge red FLAG. (On your part). Are you over your ex? I know you are! Mentioning an ex boyfriend is not going to get you the reaction you are looking for so keep that one zipped up! Don’t go searching for info on his ex’s either because you think that will help you get to know him better, or whatever other dumb reasons. Throw away that crap your ex-loser boyfriend gave you, (They broke your heart didn’t they? ) Look up at your beautiful, amazing, awesome boyfriend standing in front of you and enjoy the moment, because if you don’t, your current boyfriend will soon become your ex boyfriend.
Every year, on the 4th of July we celebrate the declaration of independence. Yay! America has finally separated from England and we are free free free! Cue fireworks and light up the grill!! Now try to apply this same scenario in your relationship. Celebrate your OWN independence day and leave your boyfriend alone! Go enjoy some fireworks while your boyfriend lights up the grill.. separately. Wow, who would have known! You are your own person still! You like live music and arts and crafts. You like really bad TV and Thai food. Being you is super important and he will appreciate that. Give yourself some Independence day(s) (and he can have his days too) and celebrate YOU. (Super cheesy, whatever.
7. Let go.
Last, but very not least, just learn to let go. Your boyfriend is going to annoy the shit out of you, say the wrong things (remember, he seriously can’t read your mind.. even though you wish he could all the time), and act just plain stupid. (Wait, did he seriously forget about my dog’s birthday?) but if you follow these rules on how to be the perfect girlfriend, I bet you a million dollars your relationship will become better than freakin’ ever.
A nagging girlfriend is so unattractive and SOOOO not fun to be around!
If you are constantly picking at everything your boyfriend does, you should first reevaluate your relationship (Maybe this guy is a complete idiot and you need to walk away) or maybe you are just absolutely nuts and you have some mental issues that need to be further inspected, but in all honesty, we just get completely caught up in ridiculousness and we just want to be loved. So let go and let love in. You are not a crazy girlfriend so stop acting like one, you’re not an actress, and if you are, leave that at the studio.