1. Dealing with guys who have “Yellow Fever.”
There’s something about our silky black hair and petite figures that puts Caucasian men into a frenzy. Sure, the attention is kind of nice, but we are not a fetish. Don’t try and hook up with one of us for the sake of checking us off the bucket list.
2. Being told “You all look the same.”
No, we don’t. Either you’re being a stereotypical asshole or just blind. We have similar features, but if we can tell Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen apart, you can tell us apart.
3. Being asked if we can see properly.
Seriously? We know my eyes are smaller compared to your genetically big eyes, but unless it’s been scientifically proven that Asians are born with some form of impaired vision disease, don’t ask me that (and no, I don’t see the world like a panorama).
4. Having to endure midget pranks.
Though this may not apply to all Asian women, the majority of us are quite short and therefore are often victims of the “Let me put something out of reach and watch you jump frantically to retrieve it” game.
5. Being told to gain some weight.
Um no, we don’t need to gain any weight; we are healthy and you’re probably just jealous.
6. Having to compete with white girls.
They are the standard for beauty, so we were born to lose.
7. Having barely there boobs/curves.
We are essentially a cardboard cutout figure.
8. “Asian Flush” syndrome.
Whenever we consume alcohol, whether we are drunk or not, our porcelain skin will turn a deep shade of red. We know that; we can feel the heat radiating off us and no, you don’t need to remind me every five seconds.
The second even a slightest tint of pink appears, I’m automatically the “drunk Asian” and it’s “soooo cute.” Um, when was the last time you got drunk off a cider? Probably never, so if you know it’s not really possible to be THAT lightweight, then please stop calling me out on being “wasted.” I’m not.
9. Being legal and still getting carded.
Maybe in 30 years my barely aging face will come in handy but for now, we don’t appreciate looking like an underage child who drinks Jolly Shandy on Friday nights.
10. Being expected to know how to make every dish ever made in Asian cuisine.
No, we do not know how to make dim sum. No, I don’t know how to roll sushi; more to the point, I’m actually Korean. Shame on you!