According to Oxford Dictionary, the term “closure” has several connotations, but whichever the context, it basically refers to the end of something. When it comes to relationship, a closure probably refers to the final process we undertake to move on.
Not everyone needs closure when a relationship ends, but in most cases, we seek answers or truths from the other party before we can move on.
But do we really need it? The pursuit of closure is definitely a healthy step to end a relationship, as it provides a form of self assurance that you are now mentally prepared to start afresh.
But the crux of having a proper closure lies in the question of “where?” Where do we find that closure? We are often deluded into thinking that closure should come from the other party, be it our estranged best friend or ex-lover.
We seek for closure from them. We BELIEVE that closure should come from them. We need to hear certain things from them before we assimilate and come to terms with the fact that things are officially over.
Some people prefer to leave things hanging or unsaid, and that is not your fault. But often, we make our lives miserable by harping on the “need” to tie up the loose ends. But do we really need that?
Sometimes, the only closure we need, is the one that we give ourselves.
When we seek for closure from others, we are not, actually looking for closure. In fact, it is an excuse we give to see if there is a possible turn back, to see if there is something that we can do to salvage the dying relationship.
When we seek for closure from others, it simply means we are not ready to move on, and we do ourselves a disservice by waiting for that closure, because truth is, the closure we get from others, will never make us feel better. It will never give us the push we need to move on.
The hardest part about moving on is arguably the push you need to understand that certain things are just not meant to be, certain people belong better elsewhere, and that to tide through a failed relationship is an integral part of life.
There are many ways to give yourself that closure. Some people write it on their diaries, some people talk to their close pals, some people talk to themselves and some people just remain silent and move on gradually. Your thoughts are very much reflected on your actions.
If you are ready to move on, you don’t need a green light from others.
If you truly want that closure, you wouldn’t need a word from someone else, for the only word you need, is from yourself.