I was bright and wide eyed, with two shots of espresso coursing through my veins, excited for all the little tasks I was to accomplish throughout the day. Opening up my closet door, I put on the outfit I already planned out in my head according to the weather and was on my way out, until I looked in the mirror.
My eyes and mind decided to play games with me. My limbs and stomach stretched out as if I were standing in front of one of those wacky mirrors at a carnival. Changed my outfit, yet again I was deceived by the person reflected in the glass.
Six outfits later, I realized I was about thirty two minutes behind schedule, and figured I’d just crawl back into bed. I clenched onto my stuffed animal, and weeped my perfectly done skincare routine back to a dry and salty array.
It’s completely and utterly frustrating to have days like this. Days where, out of absolutely nowhere, your confidence is shot down. Everything that makes you beautifully unique, like a fresh sheet of paper, is later crumbled. It makes you feel as though everything you have worked on to even get yourself out of bed, more so leave the house, ceases to exist, and you have to start from the bottom.
For moments like this, you’re not alone, and I really mean it. Yes, we are all human with emotions and ups and downs and insecurities, all just at different magnitudes.
What makes you different in the situation is not what the situation is about, but how you decide to handle it.
Sometimes, just hearing someone else positively relate to you in moments like this, changes your attitude. Maybe they can suggest words you’ve never heard before or words you have heard but arranged in a different structure that will really click in your mind.
Now, just because they handled it in a way that doesn’t appeal to you mean you must do as they have to get over it. You heal and move forward when and how you can. If it ruins your whole day, let that day be the one out of the whole week to sulk. If you find some strength to carry on with your day, treat yourself guiltlessly.
For me, I just call my parents or a close friend and dive myself into the conversation. I may not believe in distractions because I know I am actively pushing my mind and emotions away from what it wants to feel, but I don’t like feeling down, and so, at that point, I could careless because I will hang up the phone smiling.
You have no other choice but to be strong because only you are responsible for how you operate and go about in the world, so take your weaknesses and work on it like a muscle.
All I can tell you is that it’s normal. It’s normal to breakdown every once and awhile, but you cannot let it break you. You cannot let it halt you, otherwise you have given power to the demons in your mind. They dance and prance around in your head every time you fall down, so don’t give them any music to move to.