Anxiety makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Every time I go to sleep, I dread waking up because it’s another day I’ll have to live in constant worry. The blanket seems to be my only sense of security in this world.
Anxiety makes it hard to leave my house. The thought of having to go to the grocery store and interact with the cashier at the checkout line is enough to make me cry. I feel as though all eyes are on me, as if everyone is watching me, ready to judge.
Anxiety makes relationships near impossible because not everyone understands. Any average person sees it as a symptom to being a caring or worrying person. Any average person thinks your attacks are one time stress spills. Any average person uses the word “anxiety” to describe themselves being anxious or nervous in the moment, but don’t see how that feeling is an everyday thing. Eventually, people who don’t want to understand this illness, prove to leave.
Anxiety makes it difficult to socialize. Knowing that I might have to socialize with a stranger or widely familiar face makes my body feel like I have arthritis; weak beyond comprehension. It makes me skip parties, important meetings, or class. Friends begin to dissipate, and I don’t blame them. It’s forced me to be alone.
Anxiety makes me feel weak since my body is so tensed up all the time. Being consistently numb and in aching pain while doing everyday activities make it difficult to live. I am drained to exhaustion; as if I recently ran a marathon. Eating becomes a lost habit, despite the howling noise of your stomach. All the blood work say you’re in the right, but how can your body feel so wrong?
Yes, anxiety is all those things and more; don’t even get me started on the panic attacks. But some days are better than others. Some days I am as productive and as social as I can be. Those are the days I live for, I thrive. I feel stronger in an instant, and it gives me hope.
I may never be comfortable in my own skin, but at least for today, I’ll try.
Set a little goal everyday to combat your anxiety. Prove it wrong on a daily basis. Don’t give into its power. I know some cases are more difficult than others, but in the end, you’re still stronger than your idle mind.
You are enough.