Never would I, of all people, and at such a young age, fall in love. Yet, I sit here, wailing over the bare idea of reaching such an immense feeling. What I can say about love is how wonderful it can be. It is the single most intense emotion one can feel, leaving you feel as though you are on cloud nine while still crushing you back down to Earth with shattering thoughts.
As I expressed to many around me the realization that I have become victimized by love, those around did not believe me. The overwhelming, “It’s nothing” or “You’re too young to know” or “You’re invalid” was crushing. It made me clarify you cannot help falling in love or with whom you love or how you fall in love. We all experience things at our own intensities, immensities, and extremities.
What I will say about my love, while it was extremely calming and sudden for me, it was certainly unrequited; the person I loved was nowhere near where I stood emotionally. Heartbroken, slightly. Unexpected, not at all; however, it did not stop me from expressing my emotions because I needed to for my sake and my sanity.
I realized while it is an unrequited love between me and this person, I will continue to love them whether it be romantically or as a person. All in all, here is what I learned from unrequited love:
Do not think it has anything to do with you. This was something I had a hard time coming to terms with. It was hard for a perfectionist like me to not blame myself for the fact the person did not love me back. What you have to remember is just because the person did not love you the way you wanted them to, does not mean another person will not love you.
Notice the red flags. Ignorance is bliss was the motto I had with this person, and let me tell you; NEVER ignore anything. It would be little things here and there the person mentioned which would not sit right in my stomach. Time was the biggest, meaning never believe the busy excuse. If everyone in the world was “so busy” to meet up with someone they love, no one would be together. Do not twist things in your head just to make the person seem perfect. In the end, it will only would hurt you being so naive. Do not be naive. Know your worth. Stand your ground and stand for your standards. If he/she does not fit it, someone else will.
This is not the last person you will ever fall in love with. This is easily the scariest thought of mine. The fact that one can fall in and out of love so easily is terrifying. It is uncertain and unsettling, yet you can not help how you feel. My dad has told me and will continue to tell me, “There is a somebody for everybody, you just have to be patient”. I live by those words whenever I try to make something out of nothing or keep thinking, “Maybe this is the one.” Let it be, and let things happen how they are supposed to happen.
Unrequited love is skewed, fragmented, and hypnotizing. Yet, it is one of the best things for me to learn about at such a young age because it allows one to focus on themselves, become aware, and realize this is not the end of the world. It is easy to be phased in what seems as though everyone around you is happy and in love. Be happy for those people; they may have once been in your position, and your turn for love will come at the right timing.