1. Why are you single?
The dreaded question. From family members to complete strangers, people constantly ask “Why are you single?” Then you spend an awful amount of time awkwardly justifying your single status. A seemingly innocent question turns into an interrogation. So while us singletons struggle to come up with a good answer to explain our non-existent relationship status, the person who has unintentionally single-shamed you also seems to be trying to figure out what is wrong with you. I mean you are dateable. You have a good job, are reasonably attractive and are probably a decent person. But for many of us single people out there, the uncomfortable truth is that most of us are single for no reason at all. So when you are continuously asked this question, to say it becomes monotonous, is an understatement. It borderlines uncomfortable after awhile. So quit asking already.
Dating in the 21st century is challenging. Being single and modern dating is an absolute nightmare. Dating apps like Tinder have made it easy to date multiple people at once. As a single person it is not easy meeting someone who has the same intentions as you. Do they just want to ‘hook-up’ or are they looking for love. You spend time deciphering that text message, cyber-stalking and acting emotionally unavailable just because you don’t want to come off too strong. Or look desperate. Dating has become a sport for us young millennial’s. We spend more time playing games than taking the time to get to know each other beyond a physical level. Driving yourself crazy trying to navigate the millennial version of ‘dating.’ And that is for those who are actively dating. What about our single friends who are not dating at all. Your last real date with someone was six months ago (or maybe it was seven months ago). Your not too sure after binge watching Netflix for the third Saturday in a row.
3. Grown accustomed to being single
When you have been single for a significant amount of time you become a little bit set in your ways. You have an eventful calendar full of all the things you love to do. You enjoy spending lazy Sundays in your pyjamas watching reruns of Game of Thrones. You are comfortable dining out alone and shopping by yourself. Even if you meet someone that you like you still find ways to ignore those feelings. The uncomfortable truth is that you are getting used to being single. You live life on your own terms. Part of you is not 100% ready to share your life with someone else.
4. Other couples
We love our coupled up friends. We are genuinely happy for you. We know that you have our best interests at heart. So please stop excluding us from your couples only get togethers. It is not cool finding out that you have been having couple only date nights without us. We single people have feelings too and the uncomfortable truth is, we don’t like being left out in the cold. By doing this on a consistent basis, you are reminding us how single we actually are. We know you don’t want us to feel uncomfortable. But we are pretty capable of coming to events alone even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Maybe to distract yourself from your single status you throw yourself into work. You dedicate your whole self to your career. You make sure that your life is busy, that your schedule is completely full. You are independent. Allowing work to take over your private life means there is no time left to dedicate to your love life. Work can sometimes act as a distraction to not face the uncomfortable truth that sometimes being single can be a lonely place. The uncomfortable truth is you start to wonder if this is how your life will be forever.
6. The absence of love is hard
There are times when being single feels like hard work. It is not just the fact you have to carry the grocery bags alone or cook a meal for just you most evenings. When your sick, you have to take care of yourself. When you have a bad day, there is no one to vent too. Of course, you could call family or friends but the interaction is different. The absence of love from a significant other can be a tough pill to swallow.
Being single represents independence, the ability to be free, to be strong and to be fearless. But we do not always feel this way. There are times that we crave companionship and a person to lean on. The uncomfortable truth about being single is we too want someone to care about us once in awhile.