My Feeling For Wanderlust are Stronger Than My Feelings For You

Laura Lefurgey Smith

You look at me as if I have lost my mind.

You want to know if some other guy is in the picture. I let you know that there was never anyone else. Just there could no longer be an ‘us.’ My heart is set on a different path, a new future.

You won’t understand.

The butterflies that I get in my stomach when I wake up in a new city are the same butterflies I used to get when I would see you enter a room.

As I look ahead, the sun rising over the horizon, I am in unfamiliar territory.

You are too familiar. A familiar feeling, I know all too well.

I feel a sense of freedom when I step off that plane. I want to explore new places, hike the highest mountains and dive into the deepest waters.

I don’t want the same old story.

You prefer routine. I prefer spontaneity. You think my obsession with travel is a frivolous way to live life. I say my obsession with travel is truly liberating.

The thrill and intensity of my initial attraction to you has faded and has been replaced with feelings of wanderlust.

I don’t know when this happened but I do know my feelings of wanderlust are stronger than my feelings for you.

I don’t feel insecure in my wanderlust. I don’t feel unsure, or doubt myself and the decisions that I am choosing to make. I feel a burden lifting off my shoulders. I sense my life changing for the better. I truly feel free. I am becoming the woman that I always wanted to be. No longer seeking your approval.

Please don’t think that I am running away from you. It is not that I don’t care about you, I just care about myself a little bit more.

My heart no longer leaps for you.

I lust for wonder. I lust for adventure. I have a wandering heart that is choosing not to settle.

For now, I am carving out new memories and writing a new chapter for myself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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