1. When you pull your penis out way too early.
We’ve only been kissing for about 0.2 seconds and your dick’s already whipped out, fully erect, ready to take off! Why, my friend? I can see patience didn’t make it into your vocabulary. Give ya girl some time to decide if she’s even enjoying the simple lip locking. Give a girl some time to get moist dow there.
2. When you are a little too obvious about wanting oral.
The next time a guy tries to direct my head towards his dick, we’re actually fighting. It’s not that I don’t perform fellatio, on the contrary, I can slurp a penis up, but on my own time and free will and to whomever I deem worth it.
3. When you treat the clit like you’re a sloppy Fed Ex driver.
Why must you manipulate my clitoris like you do your damn xbox controller in the middle of a 2K game? We’re not one in the same. A clit is a delicacy that must be handled with ease and thoroughness. Be gentle. Act like you actually care about pleasing me primarily instead of just rushing me to get wet so you can slip inside.
4. When you are unnecessarily rough.
I love me some rough sex! Shit, who doesn’t? It’s necessary at some points during a session. That slow and steady rhythm can definitely get old at times, but don’t take that as the opportunity, an invitation, to ram in and out of my vagina like you’re pounding yams, for 20 straight minutes. Don’t worry, I won’t catch feelings because you add a pinch of sensuality in there, it’ll actually help me help you.
5. Whey you are obnoxiously verbal.
Lastly, if you’re slaying the punani (a.k.a vagina) adequately, I will make it known someway somehow, so stop embarrassing yourself and asking stupid questions (You like the way that dick feels baby?) or ordering me to feed you very false lies (Tell Daddy you love feeling him deep inside you) Nah fam, please don’t to it to yourself. The response will be a blank stare.