In these moments of uncertainty the world is facing, I’m brought back to feelings all too familiar from this day in 2012 when I lost my mother. Will I ever be okay? How will life go forward? What is the lesson in this? All I wanted as I faced dark days for many years after the loss of her was peace and love. I yearned for it and realized that it was never going to come from the outside. No matter where I was, where I worked, or what I had, I quickly learned that these things were trivial pieces of the puzzle. Pieces that, no matter how hard we want them to, never make us feel fulfilled or okay. Perhaps for a moment but they are ever fleeting.
With the loss of my beautiful mother and my life being completely altered forever, I spent years healing. I focused my energy on all the good things surrounding me and on the things that made me happy. As a 22-year-old, I had to let go of judgement (from myself and others) of what I should be doing. I let go of people, places, and things that made me feel less than, however hard it was. I focused on listening to my soul and what I truly wanted, where I wanted to go, and who I wanted to be. Doing this created an opportunity for my life and ultimately for me to grow into who I am today.
What does the loss of my Mom have to do with what we are all facing in the world right now? Opportunity. A moment to be, to stop, to trust. We will never know what is going to happen in life ever. In 2012, as a recent college graduate eager for the future, I certainly never expected a death to alter my world, but it did. The years following, as I gave myself that space in those despairing moments to trust the process, everything changed. I let go of sadness and the ‘why me’ mentality and held onto ‘I still get to live’. So I did live, and along the way I found the peace and love inside of myself that I had been searching for.
Right now, may you lean into your own soul in these quiet moments when you’re stuck inside. Listen to what matters to you, what your dreams are telling you, what hasn’t been working in your life, and what has. Get clear on what you want in this life, because as you can see, things can change in an instant. When life gets back to normal, how are you going to want to spend your precious days? There is an opportunity to live in the coming weeks, even if it isn’t exactly how you planned to be spending your time. In despair, there can be peace; you just have to dig a little deeper for it. I promise it’s there.