Staying home is meant to be bliss for an introvert. But this isn’t always the case. Often, our sweet solitude turns sour. And here’s the most annoying part:
Our staycations and hibernations are foiled by something we feel like we have no control over. Something that is both our greatest ally and our most feared opponent.
Have you guessed what I’m talking about yet?
It’s our own mind, of course. The minute we take some precious introvert “me time”, our brain starts making us feel guilty about it.
Introverts don’t trust ourselves
The problem is, we don’t trust ourselves. We think that one night in will multiply to six, then ten, then before we know it we are Forever Alone and surrounded by cats. There’s another, more painful reason for our guilt.
We think that alone means selfish. And selfish means bad. And bad means unloveable. We really can’t help thinking this way. This simple train of logic was branded on our innocent introvert brain before we could even speak. It’s all so sad because being alone is a necessary perk of being an introvert.
We can plug ourselves into solitude and magically emerge recharged and ready to take on the world again.
So, how can an introvert shed the guilt, and actually enjoy staying home?
3 Steps to get rid of introvert guilt:
Find the source of your introvert guilt.
Do you feel guilty because you believe that liking your alone time is selfish? Do you fear that you’ll love hibernating so much that you’ll never want to emerge from your cave? Do you believe that others will judge you for staying home?
Give your beliefs the boot.
Once you’ve narrowed down the belief behind your guilt, you can set it free, baby. To do this, I like to play a little game of ‘What If’.
What would happen if I am being selfish? (People will judge me.)
What will happen if people judge me? (I’ll feel like I’m bad.)
What will happen if I feel like I’m bad? (I’ll feel guilty.)
Err … do you see the irony here? Usually the worse thing that can happen is something that’s already happening – you feeling bad about yourself. At a certain point you see that it’s all in your head. No one has any real power over you. No one’s opinion of you matters more than your own.
Learn to trust yourself.
A huge reason that we introverts feel guilty so often is because we don’t trust our innate needs and desires. We don’t believe that deep down inside we know what’s best for us.
Trust comes with practice and evidence. Practice giving yourself what you need in small doses at first, and see how it feels. Snatch an hour or two of alone time here and there. Then try a whole evening, or weekend. It’s up to you to decide how much alone time feels good to you!
First and foremost, know that it’s okay to stay home. And it’s okay to like it, too.