Be With Someone Who Challenges You

Timothy Kolczak
Timothy Kolczak

To those that find a sense of dependency and comfort in another, to those that believe in a happily ever after and remain ignorant to anything else, here’s a surprise for you.

Love, for you, should not be about finding settlement or a comfort zone. That is not love. That is being in love with love and finding comfort in it. If we limit ourselves to this kind of thinking, then there is no room for love to grow; love does not become challenging for the sake of our betterment.

It may seem daunting to find love when your significant other turns their back on you, or when the work piles up and you can no longer make time for them. It is especially daunting to find that love when no sign of hope presents itself when you both call it off.

Is your relationship all about snuggling up and falling asleep with them? Adventures and stargazing and the sex? The surprises and the gifts? Obviously fights, misunderstandings and shortcomings happen. So what do you when your significant other is no longer your comfort zone? Life just punched you in the mouth, but it is up to you if you want to stay on the ground or show great character in tough times.

Love is meant to challenge our capabilities, insecurities, and the list goes on.

It is not wrong to think that you can find a sense of comfort in your loved one. However, the moment you become too dependent on that, you’re not allowing yourself to be better than you were yesterday.

Rather than moping in your misery, you have the option to get up and take a chance. Love entails taking risks, and wouldn’t we do anything for the person we love? Even if we get hurt trying, even if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, what is important is that we gave it a try. To know that you have tried is a better feeling than the regret you receive from not trying at all.

True love will not be handed to you on a silver platter.

It sure as hell won’t be easy; but when has anything so rewarding and genuine become easy? If you choose to stand up and get rid of any obstacles in your way, there will be no such thing as a challenge; there will only be the thought of being better than you were yesterday.

If you choose to stay with your partner when the stress and work hits, if you choose to listen and understand their side of the problem, that’s when you know that love, true love, can transcend anything.

There is no better feeling than being able to move mountains, to go the distance, and to transcend all of life’s burdens.

Yes, you deserve to be with someone that you can run to and depend on. However, you ought to be that person for your partner as well. Love’s primary goal is aspirational—it is a love that knows no bounds, and one that constantly makes us better than we were before.

So just when you think you love your partner enough, love them some more. Love them more and more each day. Love them knowing that you’ll do whatever it takes. But don’t just tell them that, show them. Prove it to them that you are with someone who constantly challenges you to make you better.

“Love, real love, is not about you. It has never been, and will never be, about you. The purpose of love is not your happiness and pleasure and continuous, immediate self-gratification. That is not love. Love is not about having someone there to make you feel good and make you happy; that is enjoyment, that is affection, that is conditional, unstable, unsustainable; that is you loving yourself, loving what someone does for you, but that is not you loving someone else. That is not the purpose of love.” –Iris Mendoza, ‘This Is The Meaning of Love”  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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