1. Immediately upon arriving in your Airbnb, you open tinder and start swiping right. How else are you going to “experience the culture,” without experiencing the culture?
2. You tell people that you’re a writer, maybe even working on a book, but what you really mean is you desperately hunt for gigs on Upwork.
3. If you happen to be in Berlin, insert “graphic designer” for writer.
4. You’ve been on a yoga retreat in Bali, because you’re not quite ready for India.
5. You Snapchat your entire day, up to and including: What you had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, your OOTD, and a picture of something cultural – since we’re here to inspire of course. You snapped your night out, but not the following morning.
6. You take a picture of every meal, except that Mcdouble you snuck in there because you wanted something “familiar.”
7. Your Instagram captions will suddenly be filled with cliché travel quotes like “all who wander are not lost,” and “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
8. You constantly bring up politics. You secretly judge those who disagree with you or just don’t care.
9. God help those who vote Republican.
10. You only have two weeks off but your itinerary looks like London – Istanbul – Cairo – Johannesburg – Rio – Istanbul – Bangkok – Tokyo – the “Valley”
11. You ordered an Americano in Vietnam.
12. You go on about “sustainable tourism”.
13. You sneer at tourists, while you are also a tourist.
14. It’s impossible for you to say anything negative about a country because everything is amazing.
15. You have a beat up Macbook in your backpack.
16. You’ve counted the number of likes you received on a picture; you deleted it if it was less than 100.
17. You look down upon those would go on a Carnival Cruise.
18. You refused to pay 60 Baht for that Chang because you know they’re supposed to be 40.
19. You’ve couch surfed and/or WOOLF’ed.
20. Travel isn’t a luxury for you, it’s vital to your growth.
21. You’ve thought about teaching English overseas, then looked at the price for the certificate and changed your mind.
22. You’re buried in college loan debt, but you travel anyways.
23. You ate that spider on Khao San Road.
24. You went solo because you wanted to “find yourself”.
25. You only stay in hostels with free wi-fi and breakfast.
26. You want luxury, at a discount.
27. You count down the days until departure on Facebook.
28. You own a pair of elephant pants and a sarong if you’re dedicated.
29. You bought a round of beers for your new friends, knowing that you couldn’t afford it.
30. You want experiences, not things.