1. The “Do you know who I am?” line doesn’t work at all outside of the internet.
2. When you say “I’m a celebrity on Twitter,” it does nothing for the person you’re flirting with.
3. At IRL parties you’re invited to, you’re known as “That Guy Always On His Phone” and no one really cares to talk to you.
4. You’re defined by how many followers and Retweets you get on your jokes.
5. No one understands the things you do for your followers.
6. You might’ve been in a Vine with a celebrity, you might’ve gotten a sponsorship with GM on Instagram, but outside of those social network, you’re still anonymous.
7. You feel contempt towards your Facebook friends who post “memes” and “breaking news” when you saw them on Reddit like, two hours ago.
8. When you try to talk Twitter drama with people, they look at you if you have some sort of disease.
9. Your shower thoughts are potential joke tweets.
10. No one knows you outside of Vine.
11. You know some really bizarre shit. Like what are you doing with your life?
12. You’ve started a Tinder and OKCupid account to get more Instagram and Twitter followers.
13. People see you as super outgoing and awfully sarcastic online, but in real life, you’re really quiet and introverted.
14. Meetups are where you go to tell more jokes and get mutual follows.
15. You’ve tried to emulate your follower-following ratio in real life.
16. You’ve uttered this phrase more than once: “This is so going on Twitter.”
17. That “friend” you made on Tumblr lives in England and is totally your friend-soulmate. And you make plans to see each other, but you both are broke.
18. You’re still socially inept when it comes to public settings.