Made of exquisite wood and lacquered with the virgin tongues of Japanese school children, Brooks Brothers came out with yet another overpriced, ridiculous item of conspicuous consumption. It comes with a lid, too, so you can really pretend you’re Asian. Will you be wearing your kimono and sip green tea while sitting on your knees? Let’s not forget that this company came out with chopsticks that will set you back over $200 (originally $350) and a tray — yes, a flat “elegant” board made of wood, for $600 (it was originally priced at $1,000).

This particular item (and everything else in the collection) is not dishwasher or microwave or oven safe. Why take the three minutes to hand wash this item after you’ve had steamed white rice when you can do the exact same thing with a porcelain rice bowl and pay $2.50 and use the dishwasher. You know what that means — dinner parties won’t suck. But then again, if you can afford this, you can afford a horde of Asian people to do your dishes, can’t you?