Brooks Brothers Is Selling Chopsticks And You Can Have Them… For $350

This is conspicuous consumption at its finest. Really? Who in the goddamn world will fork over (hehe) $350.00 $245.00 for a pair of chopsticks? Apparently the rich, fine folks that shop at Brooks Brothers. To be quite honest, though, who is seriously a connoisseur of chopsticks? I want to meet that person. I have a collection of metal chopsticks that are from my childhood — I remember my parents getting it and they had some blue cellophane on it and my brother and I had the coveted job of peeling those off. This was back in 1995. The Brooks Brothers chopsticks are:

…are handcrafted of Tilis Japonica wood, seasoned for more than three years after being cut. Each piece is then finished with expertly applied coats of lacquer obtained from the refined sap of the Japanese lacquer tree (a very precious commodity as only 200 grams are available from each tree).

Well then, does that mean my chopsticks are worth just as much, if not more? They’re quite old and indestructible. I’m pretty sure the company went out of business. Can I contact Brooks Brothers about this? There’s a limited quantity, so act fast.

Thorstein Veblen would be rolling over in his grave right now.