19 Socially Shamed Cheeseburgers That You Really Want In Your Mouth

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Society says that cheeseburgers are not good for you. To hell with them, I say. If I could, I’d eat a cheeseburger every day, but my intestines would not love me. Besides, red meat isn’t that good for you, although, it’s freaking delicious. I saw this ridiculous video of a guy who ate nothing but red meat and he was on a surgeon’s table. The doctors cut him open and took out 10 pounds of parasitic worms he got from eating contaminated meat. Okay, enough of that.

My criteria for the burgers were: single patty, two buns, and cheese. Lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, all optional. Now, let’s analyze some burgers!

1. Mcdonald’s Cheeseburger

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2. Burger King Cheeseburger

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3. Hardee’s Small Cheeseburger

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4. Checkers All-American Cheeseburger

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5. Dairy Queen Deluxe Cheeseburger

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6. A&W Cheeseburger

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7. In N’ Out Cheeseburger

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8. Wendy’s 1/4 lb. Single Cheeseburger

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9. Sonic Cheeseburger With Ketchup

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10. Applebee’s Cheeseburger

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11. Carl’s Jr. The Original Dollar Six Hamburger

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12. Fatburger Fatburger

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13. Five Guys Cheeseburger

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Yes, they come with two patties.

14. Five Guys Little Cheeseburger

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Happy?

15. Jack In The Box Big Cheeseburger

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16. Steak N’ Shake Single Steakburger With Cheese

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17. Outback Steakhouse Boomerang Cheeseburger

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18. Ruby Tuesday Classic Burger

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19. White Castle Cheese Slider

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And what did you learn from all of these nutritional facts? Nothing? Good. Me neither. All I looked at were the pictures. I could really use a cheeseburger right now. Do you know what they call a burger without cheese? Incomplete. That’s right. I went there. Don’t mess with cheese on meat. Meat and cheese go together like cheese on cheesesteak. Without it, it doesn’t make sense.

How many White Castle “sliders” have you had? My record was 13. I’m a wimp, I know. A good friend of mine ate the pounder at Cheeburger Cheeburger (good burgers, over there), I’ve never attempted it myself, because, you know, standards.