1. Embarrassing moments from your past. Taking a shower is one of the few times we truly get to be alone. And it’s during these times that memories flood back. It’s our moment of introspection. A reflective moment. And that’s when embarassing moments hit you. Hard. How many times have we said, “I can’t believe I did that,” or, “I can’t believe that happened”? Showers — they’re awesome, but they leave us with a terrible, uncomfortable feeling in the end.
2. Your future. As we reflect on our past, we can’t help but think about the future. We truly enjoy “forecasting” our future. Where we’ll be, how much we’ll be making, what we’ll be doing… Taking a shower and predicting our future is one of the things we do.
3. Scary, scary things. Being the fearful creatures that we are, and fearing being alone in the bathroom (mirrors are freaky if you think about it), we tend to think about scary things. I mean, it’s probably when we are most vulnerable. We’re soapy, confined to a room with one entry point, and we have soap in our eyes.
4. Peeing in the shower. Do it if you must, but know that your pee will smell, because apparently moisture enhances our sense of smell.
5. Sexy things. When we’re alone, we sometimes can’t help but feel aroused. The solitude of taking a shower is one of those perfect times to let a little bit of steam off.
6. Witty responses to something someone said a long time ago. I don’t know about you, but there have been too many times where I have thought of the perfect response to a snarky comment…that happened two nights ago. Our brain works in funny ways.
7. To-do list for the day. Planning out the day is a great way to multi-task in the shower.
8. Worst-case scenarios. What if this happened…or this? Don’t think about slipping in the shower and hitting your head on the rim. For some reason, we think about some crazy things in the shower.
9. Getting the love of your dreams. Planning out a way to somehow get that person of your dreams — or someone that you have a crush on, all of those scenarios that you play out, they all stem from a nice, hot shower. You don’t think of those on your couch while watching the finale of How I Met Your Mother. That just doesn’t happen. You’re too caught up with what’s going on in that ridiculous finale to think about your crush.
10. Composing the best Tweet ever.
i was reading ads out loud on the subway and people were like wow this kid can read and some jealous guy shouted at me to shut up
— michael koh (@ughHugs) September 24, 2012
11. Staying in the warm water an extra two minutes. It’s about that time, but it’s so nice and warm in the shower. There’s wrinkles on your fingers already, hands are pruny, you’re sudsy, and on the surface your skin is bumpy and ready for more hot water.
12. If you can stay under cold water for a minute (you can’t, you wuss). Don’t do this after taking a hot shower. You’re going to be in for a nice, cold, shriveling shock.
13. Calling your parents. How long has it been since you’ve talked to them? They must be worried about you. You make a mental note, but after you walk out of that bathroom door, your mind is going to become occupied with how cold it is. You’re going to forget, again.
14. A mistake you’ve made in the past that haunts you. What is it about showers and reminding you of mistakes you’ve made in the past? You think back on it and you’re literally blushing in embarrassment. Seriously, how could you do that?
15. If a mohawk would look good on you. The answer is almost always no.