Patrice Wilson’s New Music Video Is 100% Worse Than Rebecca Black’s Friday

From the mind of Patrice Wilson, the “genius” who wrote Friday, comes the 2013 version of Rebecca Black in the form of Alison Gold — a girl with no self-awareness, cheesy lines, and no idea what she’s really singing about, except for her love of Chinese food. Of course, she’s doing exactly what she wants to do, become the next big thing, but honestly, doesn’t she realize the gross stereotypes embedded within the music video and the lyrics?

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Lyrics:

After ballin’
I go clubbin’
Then I’m huggin’
Then I’m hungry
And I’m walking on the street
And I’m getting getting getting getting grumpy grumpy
I see Chow by my right
I smell food in the air
It’s Chinese food
My favorite
So I’m getting getting getting getting hungry

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

Got the menu
They’ve got broccoli
Even chicken wings
Make it spicy
And you like it
‘Cause it’s beautiful
And it tastes so so so good

I like the egg rolls
And the wonton soup
This makes me feel so so good
Fortune cookies tell my future
Chinese Chinese food

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

I like Chinese food
And some wonton soup
Get me broccoli
While I play Monopoly
Don’t be a busy bee
‘Cause it’s your fantasy
To eat Chinese food
Egg roll and chop suey
I use the chopsticks
To eat pot sticks
Put some hot sauce and sweet and sour make it sweet
Because Chinese food takes away my stress
Now I’m going to go eat Panda Express

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

I love Chinese food
You know that it’s true
I love fried rice
I love noodles
I love chow mein
Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein

This isn’t offensive to just the Chinese. It’s offensive to everyone.

The music video devolves rather quickly with Patrice Wilson dressed in a panda suit, rapping in a rather Asian-eque manner and “smiling” (note: his eyes — he does this more than once, and I am not going to believe that he loves Chinese food that much).

And not going to lie, I was like, “You have got to be shitting me,” when the chorus kicked in. “Chow mo-mo-mo-mo-mein!” Ca$h money. Mo’ mein. Mo’ what the fucking fuck.

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What the hell is up with these subtitles? Did your ignorant ass think it would mitigate the backlash on the claims that you’ve incorporated German, Dutch, Korean, Cyrillic, and Arabic into a music video about Chinese food? Newsflash, buddy, it makes you look like a moron.

And let me tell you what incensed me even more.

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Are you serious? Oriental? To most of us Asians, “Oriental” is a pejorative word, much like “Negro”. Not only does it perpetuate this “otherness” that we’re so inclined to move away from, it’s actually quite demeaning. The only thing that’s Oriental here in the good ol’ USA is a rug. Got it? We’re not in Britain, so don’t even try it.

And to make this piece of work even worse, Wilson puts in geishas in a music video about Chinese food. And for those of you that do not know what a geisha is, they are traditionally Japanese female “entertainers”.

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Wilson clearly has no idea about Chinese history, and how deeply this cuts into the Japanese-Chinese history regarding Chinese women in World War II. Nanking is still a touchy subject in both camps and Wilson completely disregards that, and for what, a tasteless and offensive music video sung by an oblivious child. And Nanking is something we should not joke about, just like the Holocaust.

Way to go, Patrice. You’ve just depicted all of the stereotypes of the Chinese — no, the entire Asian race.

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Did you get bad fried rice? Is this why you wrote this piece of garbage? And just an anecdotal reminder: Fortune cookies aren’t even Chinese. Neither is chow mein (you won’t find that in traditional Chinese cooking). There, I said it.

Now I’m going to associate Patrice Wilson with pedobear all the time. TC mark

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